Wanting to love God more is not a bad thing. Quite the opposite, it is a great thing! But when it turns into a selfish desire for fulfillment, is it still so good? For the last year or so, I have continually been pleading God to help me fall more in love with Him. But not much was happening. I couldn't figure it out. I was reading my Bible more and praying more then I used to. I thought, "my heart is open God I want you to fill it more and more! so why isn't anything happening"? Well, only recently did I discover that my longing to love God more was merely a selfish longing to gain personal fulfillment and wholeness. That's why not much was happening. I needed to want to love God for the sake of loving Him more, not for myself. After a very insightful and encouraging email with a great friend, I realized that I needed to be involved in the work that God is doing right here where I am. I was so consumed with my selfish longing of wanting fulfillment that I was blind to what God really wanted me to be involved in. Once again, the Lord is taking my eyes off myself and putting them onto Him. I then changed my prayer from merely, “help me love You more”, to “use me to carry out the work that You are doing in this place.” Soon after, I had the opportunity to share the gospel with one of the girls at my school. While it was hard because she wasn’t very good at English and I at Portuguese, I know that I have planted a seed and I pray that God will bring the growth. This is what I am called to do. To walk in His will by serving in His work. And when I am in His will, He gives unspeakable joy.
___________________________________________
There is always a first time for everything. Living in Brasil gives me LOTS of opportunities to experience a first. Here are a couple:
As I waited at the bus stop my eyes darted back and forth at the busses whizzing by making sure that wasn’t the one I needed to be on. I was ready to stick out my hand to signal the buss that I needed a lift. I saw it, the glorious number, 4201, the bus to take me home. I thrust my hand in the road waving it around to make sure that he saw it! I boarded and handed my R$ 2.10 to the money lady. I sat down and braced myself for the 20 minute ride home. Many people boarded and unloaded, but my eyes were glued to the streets trying to catch a familiar building. One lady who sat next to me tried talking with me, I managed to stammer out, “Eu não fala Portuguese muito, desculpe” (I don’t speak much Portuguese, sorry). The next 4 minutes before she left were awkward as all getout! I know it was only awkward because I made it that way…anyways… I continued to scan the streets and I though I knew where I was every once in a while, but I never really did until right before my stop. I frantically stood up and pulled the string above me to single the driver that I needed to be let off! Stepping off the bus, I sighed in relief and thought to myself, as a first bus ride by myself, that wasn’t to bad.
I finally got to go to church with some people here! Turns out one of my friends at school is a Christian and so I went to her church. It was very great! While I could not understand the message and I only picked out a few words in the worship I was so uplifted just in being with a bunch of Christians. It is definitely a little more charismatic then church back home, but I really enjoyed it. I loved the worship because I could see and hear how the people were truly crying their praises to God. They didn’t care what anyone else thought. It was a true heartfelt praise to their Lord Jesus Christ. There were some different things that went on, however. At one point I think some guy was speaking in tongues and the pastor was translating, but I wasn’t quite sure because it all still sounds like tongues to me mostly…☺
Well God has surely been teaching me a lot. I still get discouraged about the language sometimes, but I know I need to learn patience. Its already getting better. (the language and my patience) but it still is a struggle. Thanks for reading ☺ and please leave a comment if you enjoyed it.
Until next time,
-Hope
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Some pictures from school and Tiradentes/São João Del Rei
Sunrise in Belo Horizonte. My school starts at 7 every morning, so I get to watch the sunrise Monday-Friday. It is gorgeous.
A Church in São João Del Rei
The 18th century train we took to Tiradentes
These old VW bugs are EVERYWHERE
Notice the cobblestone streets, old houses, and the church in the bottom right corner
These trees are filled with yellow blossoms and are absolutely gorgeous. I forgot the name of it...
Me, Fernanda, Livio. Classmates
more Classmates!
Most of the group who went to the Historical Cities.
There are a lot of them :-)
The train station
Classmates :-)
Me playing Futebol with the guys (really fun! but they are so much better than me its crazy!)
Love this one! Carina, Polly, Me and Jessica! Some of the coolest girls at school.
Ya! Kelvin, Fernanda, and Livio. some of the other coolest people at school.
haha :-)Wednesday, August 20, 2008
From the 18th century to 2008
The wooden planks groaned beneath my light feet as I stepped into the 18th century church. I stopped, then continued as if the smallest sound would shatter the walls around me. I found a bench in the back of the church, sat down and absorbed everything around me. The front of the church gleamed with statues of gold. The ceiling was supported with arches and pillars, and decorated with various colors. Detailed wooden carvings twisted among the walls. Everything gushed excellence. From the alter to the ceiling, from the pillars to the carvings, it all seeped in superiority. I thought to myself, “what would happen if the excellence that propelled those who built this church also propelled the way this world functions?”. God has, with the last year, been convicting me that whatever I do should be done excellently and unto Him. I thought, what if this excellence spread throughout the my generation instead of the low expectations and “myth of adolescence” that is forced upon us today? How would that change families, schools, governments, churches, societies, economies?
Last weekend, I went with my family and another family to 2 Historic towns named São João Del Rei, and Tiradentes. As we drove through the historic streets, saw the small shops selling locally made items, listened to the farm animals of all kinds sound their own unique songs, and tour the majestic churches from the 18th century, I knew that this was the Brasil that I had dreamed about. I loved every minute of our stay there. I walked the ancient cobblestone roads. I saw the colorful houses and aged gates. I gazed at the gold covered churches. There is just something about a small town with so much history that up-heaves a certain longing and excitement within me. Through that time, I also discovered some things about myself.
1. I really enjoy getting up early to watch the sunrise, write in my journal and pray. It is a time without interruption that I have all to myself and God. I got up each day at 6:30 and had some of the best time by myself. This leads to my next point…
2. I also really enjoy being by myself. The people here are great, but every day I need at least some time to spend by myself.
3. Since I haven’t had the opportunity to talk that much, I have discovered how much of what I used to say was about myself, or demanding things for myself. I saw how I did this at work, at school, at church, and especially at home. I want to live for my Savoir, Christ, not for myself. And I see now one way in which I love myself more than I love the One that I owe my life to. And Christ is changing that.
4. Lastly, I am striving to live my life with excellence, not merely mediocrity. I pray that God would lay this on the hearts of His people around the globe like the black plague covered Europe. Could this excellence change the world?
____________________________________________________________________
It is been almost a month now that I have been here in Brasil. It has been getting harder, because its no longer a vacation. It’s a place where I have to live and interact with the people here. And that can be very frustrating because I cannot speak Portuguese. Many say I am learning fast, and true I do understand more then I used to. But I feel as if I am moving at a snails pace and I won’t know the language until right before I leave. I know it will come, but I don’t like waiting.
I didn’t realize it before, but one of the reasons that I wasn’t liking this very large city of 4 million people that I am living in was because I was (and still am) scared to do anything here. The city is dangerous, all cities are, and everything about it is so vastly different from my town of 2,000 that it makes me terrified. However, I know that God will use this experience of living in the city to stretch me and teach me more then I can imagine. He is helping me have courage in that face of fear. While I would rather be back in Tiradentses, I will stay here, because I know this is where God has called me for this year. I know that once I get better at Portuguese, get familiar with the busses and how to get around, and get to know more people, life will get a lot easier. As for now, I have to be patient (which I hate and God is making my work on that too!)
Thank you so much for all your prayers, it truly is a blessing. Please continue praying that I can get connected into a church very soon. I am craving Christian fellowship.
Tchau
In Christ Alone,
-Hope
Last weekend, I went with my family and another family to 2 Historic towns named São João Del Rei, and Tiradentes. As we drove through the historic streets, saw the small shops selling locally made items, listened to the farm animals of all kinds sound their own unique songs, and tour the majestic churches from the 18th century, I knew that this was the Brasil that I had dreamed about. I loved every minute of our stay there. I walked the ancient cobblestone roads. I saw the colorful houses and aged gates. I gazed at the gold covered churches. There is just something about a small town with so much history that up-heaves a certain longing and excitement within me. Through that time, I also discovered some things about myself.
1. I really enjoy getting up early to watch the sunrise, write in my journal and pray. It is a time without interruption that I have all to myself and God. I got up each day at 6:30 and had some of the best time by myself. This leads to my next point…
2. I also really enjoy being by myself. The people here are great, but every day I need at least some time to spend by myself.
3. Since I haven’t had the opportunity to talk that much, I have discovered how much of what I used to say was about myself, or demanding things for myself. I saw how I did this at work, at school, at church, and especially at home. I want to live for my Savoir, Christ, not for myself. And I see now one way in which I love myself more than I love the One that I owe my life to. And Christ is changing that.
4. Lastly, I am striving to live my life with excellence, not merely mediocrity. I pray that God would lay this on the hearts of His people around the globe like the black plague covered Europe. Could this excellence change the world?
____________________________________________________________________
It is been almost a month now that I have been here in Brasil. It has been getting harder, because its no longer a vacation. It’s a place where I have to live and interact with the people here. And that can be very frustrating because I cannot speak Portuguese. Many say I am learning fast, and true I do understand more then I used to. But I feel as if I am moving at a snails pace and I won’t know the language until right before I leave. I know it will come, but I don’t like waiting.
I didn’t realize it before, but one of the reasons that I wasn’t liking this very large city of 4 million people that I am living in was because I was (and still am) scared to do anything here. The city is dangerous, all cities are, and everything about it is so vastly different from my town of 2,000 that it makes me terrified. However, I know that God will use this experience of living in the city to stretch me and teach me more then I can imagine. He is helping me have courage in that face of fear. While I would rather be back in Tiradentses, I will stay here, because I know this is where God has called me for this year. I know that once I get better at Portuguese, get familiar with the busses and how to get around, and get to know more people, life will get a lot easier. As for now, I have to be patient (which I hate and God is making my work on that too!)
Thank you so much for all your prayers, it truly is a blessing. Please continue praying that I can get connected into a church very soon. I am craving Christian fellowship.
Tchau
In Christ Alone,
-Hope
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
What you won't find in the travel books.
1. Don’t flush the toilet if you only pee. Yes it sounds weird, but here, people are very conservative with their water, in more then one way….they also barely ever drink water…so it astounds them when they see my very large water bottle ☺
2. Many people are very focused on outward appearance. Everyone dresses up when they go out (even if that’s just to the super market to get some groceries). The sad part about it is if you don’t look a certain way, people will not respect you as much. However, I have seen in my school, that most everyone is very accepting of everyone else. So there is a little of both sides.
3. The boys here are very VERY forward…If they think your hot (or if you have revealing clothes on, which I see a lot of…) they will yell at you from across the street. Everyone is also very touchy-feely. There is a boy in my class who is a great example. He goes around and put his arm around girls and holds their hands and kisses them on the cheek numerous times. And this is the normal, “just showing you that I’m your friend”, kind of actions. Not all the boys are like this, but most everyone is very touchy. If you talking with someone they will probably put their hand on your leg or shoulder or get very close to your face. Its is very different. They have NO concept of personal space or PDA. Its quite the opposite. They are uncomfortable when no one is touching them.
4. Most of the people can actually dance here! I went to my friends birthday party at a bar (very different then American bars) and we were dancing Samba all night long! Ah it was so much fun. I love the dancing here. It takes actual talent. Its not just a bunch of people grinding on each other.
5. Everyone drives like crazy here! And the streets are steep and narrow and no one stops at stop sings or stays in their lane. Also, you’ll be driving down a two way street at all the sudden it will turn into a one way street. You better be paying attention…
These things, along with many others, are starting to make me feel very out of place here. I love Brasil and I am having a great time, but sometimes it is hard because everything is so different. (and I cannot speak Portuguese….and it seams like I never will…). I still haven’t found a church to be a part of, and I am craving that so bad right now. I could definitely use prayer in that area and also in just being to learn Portuguese fast. It’s a very hard language and also it is frustrating because not know the language limits me a lot with what I can do here.
Tchau
-Hope
2. Many people are very focused on outward appearance. Everyone dresses up when they go out (even if that’s just to the super market to get some groceries). The sad part about it is if you don’t look a certain way, people will not respect you as much. However, I have seen in my school, that most everyone is very accepting of everyone else. So there is a little of both sides.
3. The boys here are very VERY forward…If they think your hot (or if you have revealing clothes on, which I see a lot of…) they will yell at you from across the street. Everyone is also very touchy-feely. There is a boy in my class who is a great example. He goes around and put his arm around girls and holds their hands and kisses them on the cheek numerous times. And this is the normal, “just showing you that I’m your friend”, kind of actions. Not all the boys are like this, but most everyone is very touchy. If you talking with someone they will probably put their hand on your leg or shoulder or get very close to your face. Its is very different. They have NO concept of personal space or PDA. Its quite the opposite. They are uncomfortable when no one is touching them.
4. Most of the people can actually dance here! I went to my friends birthday party at a bar (very different then American bars) and we were dancing Samba all night long! Ah it was so much fun. I love the dancing here. It takes actual talent. Its not just a bunch of people grinding on each other.
5. Everyone drives like crazy here! And the streets are steep and narrow and no one stops at stop sings or stays in their lane. Also, you’ll be driving down a two way street at all the sudden it will turn into a one way street. You better be paying attention…
These things, along with many others, are starting to make me feel very out of place here. I love Brasil and I am having a great time, but sometimes it is hard because everything is so different. (and I cannot speak Portuguese….and it seams like I never will…). I still haven’t found a church to be a part of, and I am craving that so bad right now. I could definitely use prayer in that area and also in just being to learn Portuguese fast. It’s a very hard language and also it is frustrating because not know the language limits me a lot with what I can do here.
Tchau
-Hope
Monday, August 4, 2008
A few pictures
This is the view from the porch at my house
Me looking out over the city from the porch
View of the while city from the mountain overlooking Belo Horizonte
Raquel (sister), Camilla (friend), Angela (mom), Eduardo (brother), Paula (friend), Livia (sister)
Raquel, Camilla, Me, and PaulaFirst Day of School
No more sleeping into 11 anymore... I awake at 6 am sharp to be at school by 7 am. (But I do get off at 12pm!)
Where do I start in describing my Brasilian school....I am in a class of about 30 people all around 16-17 years old. English class consisted of watching a movie in Portuguese and reading the English subtitles (which I think helps me learn Portuguese better then it helps them learn English). In Math class, the I could barely hear the teacher because all the students were talking so much. I also did not get anything that the teacher was teaching (partly because I don't know Portuguese but also partly because I had never seen the type of math she was teaching. The beginning of it looked familiar, but as she wrote more numbers and things it did not make any sense....I think it is a different way to do things that I have already learned. I looked farther into the book and saw stuff like Sigma and those things that I have already done...)
Well they have this class called F.H.C. and the only thing that happened was the teacher wrote some stuff on the board and just let all the students talk and do whatever in the class room. She even sat with some students and just talked with them... Haha, its so crazy.
Not all of my classes are so crazy! In many classes, the students and not talking so much and they are taking notes. But some are just crazy.
But, my class mates are very nice! At the end of the very first class one girl came up and grabbed my hand and said "I will show you around" and she introduced me to people and took me around the whole school. They just make me feel very welcome. haha there would always be a group of people gathered around me trying to speak to me. My dictionary would get passes around to people who were trying to talk to me. They asked me what type of music I like and if I had a boyfriend. Haha, they seamed like the normal highschool crowd. They're pretty funny :-)
All in all, I really enjoy school! The girl that showed me around the school (I forgot her name....they are all so hard to pronounce...everything in Portuguese is hard to pronounce...ah its just a hard language over all....) already invited me to her birthday party at the bar (pub) this weekend! Ah I love the people in Brasil, they are SO nice :-)
I had mango today at breakfast. It was SOOO good! haha now that vacation is over and "reality has set in" my family eats a lot more fruits and vegetables. (Which I love!!!!)
I also am hoping to play on the futebol (soccer) team there! Everyone got so excited when I said I played soccer....haha...
Well, thats it for now, I will post more later :-)
Tchau!!! (chow / bye)
Where do I start in describing my Brasilian school....I am in a class of about 30 people all around 16-17 years old. English class consisted of watching a movie in Portuguese and reading the English subtitles (which I think helps me learn Portuguese better then it helps them learn English). In Math class, the I could barely hear the teacher because all the students were talking so much. I also did not get anything that the teacher was teaching (partly because I don't know Portuguese but also partly because I had never seen the type of math she was teaching. The beginning of it looked familiar, but as she wrote more numbers and things it did not make any sense....I think it is a different way to do things that I have already learned. I looked farther into the book and saw stuff like Sigma and those things that I have already done...)
Well they have this class called F.H.C. and the only thing that happened was the teacher wrote some stuff on the board and just let all the students talk and do whatever in the class room. She even sat with some students and just talked with them... Haha, its so crazy.
Not all of my classes are so crazy! In many classes, the students and not talking so much and they are taking notes. But some are just crazy.
But, my class mates are very nice! At the end of the very first class one girl came up and grabbed my hand and said "I will show you around" and she introduced me to people and took me around the whole school. They just make me feel very welcome. haha there would always be a group of people gathered around me trying to speak to me. My dictionary would get passes around to people who were trying to talk to me. They asked me what type of music I like and if I had a boyfriend. Haha, they seamed like the normal highschool crowd. They're pretty funny :-)
All in all, I really enjoy school! The girl that showed me around the school (I forgot her name....they are all so hard to pronounce...everything in Portuguese is hard to pronounce...ah its just a hard language over all....) already invited me to her birthday party at the bar (pub) this weekend! Ah I love the people in Brasil, they are SO nice :-)
I had mango today at breakfast. It was SOOO good! haha now that vacation is over and "reality has set in" my family eats a lot more fruits and vegetables. (Which I love!!!!)
I also am hoping to play on the futebol (soccer) team there! Everyone got so excited when I said I played soccer....haha...
Well, thats it for now, I will post more later :-)
Tchau!!! (chow / bye)
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