What can happen within a week...

3 days until Christmas, and it still hasn’t hit me…I know in my mind that it is almost Christmas, but it for sure doesn’t feel like it in my heart. I have noticed that there is just something different about Christmas here. It just isn’t the same. They have Christmas trees, but they are all plastic. They have some lights, but nothing compared to what we have back home. They have some decorations in the malls. There are lights covering the palm trees and huge plastic presents, and Santas, and candy canes brightening up the main square in the city. But there is just something different about it. I have been sitting here for the last 15 minutes typing and deleting, because there is no way to describe it really. Its so different. Back home it’s a time for family, friends, resting, and celebrating Christ’s birth! That includes sleeping in and waking up to fresh snow, going skiing or snowshoeing with your friends, coming home to the smell of simmering cranby/apple cider, eating dinner with the family and playing a card game together afterwards. It’s a time to relax, celebrate, rejuvenate, and commemorate. Here in the city, everything just keeps going like normal. Ya, on Christmas eve and day, everyone gets together with family and celebrates. And then normal life starts when your foot steps out the door from Christmas dinner. I don’t really know yet, (since it hasn’t happened yet…) but thats what it seams like it will be. Christmas here is more of a hassle than a time to relax. Everyone is stressed with buying gifts and putting on that outside appearance of joy. It just seams somewhat fake to me. I guess we have that exact same thing in America. Its not Christmas in the USA that I miss, cus that is pretty similar to what we have here, I miss Christmas at my Home, at 1016 Mulligan St. Fraser, CO 80442. I miss the smell, the snow, the family, the food, the cold, the emphasis on Jesus Christ, and just everything about Christmas. How I wish I could be home…

Wow that all sounds like a bunch of random thoughts piled into a heap of letters. All I know is that I wish I could be home for this Christmas season. But as my wise and sometimes very convicting brother Luke told me, ‘Hope, you are in Brasil, look for the good things, and don’t dwell on all the bad’. Its true, its very true. So that’s what I am going to try to do, Thanks Luke.

Well other then that this last week and a half has been filled with some of the very best and very worst days that I have had so far here in Brasil. It started out with going to a small farm out in the country, horse back riding, swimming at night, breathing fresh air, and eating mango picked from a tree in the back yard. It was one of the best weekends ever, and then I came back to the city. There was already an uneasy feeling in my host family due to a huge fight the night before between my host dad and brother (which I still don’t understand what really happened…) and then I just got so fed up with the city. I was trying to listen to some music and couldn’t hear it because of the loud honking outside my window. I slammed it shut and just got so mad! Well throughout the next two days I got ridiculously discouraged with everything. I haven’t had much to do and I felt like I was wasting my life. Like I was a 12 year old again without responsibility, without being able to make my own choices, just sitting at home playing video games and watching TV. I was wasting my time and I got so fed up! I couldn’t live like that any more. I need purpose, meaning, responsibility in life. That lead to thinking about how I could actually be productive back home by getting a job, studying for clep-tests, helping with Doulos etc. (I wrote about that in my last blog) This has been an on-going thing, but this last Sunday-Tuesday is when it all built up and exploded. I was sick of Brasil, of the city, of the language, of life, of who I was, of what I was getting accomplished. I was sick of feeling alone, and like I don’t belong. Those few days I cried, and I cried a lot. I talked with my parents and was ready to pack my bags to go home. I thought, prayed, and cried so much. I was honestly thinking of how to pack my bags to go home. I don’t know how to explain it. How I felt here. All I know is that my whole being, everything inside of me wanted to go home. I didn’t think I was going to be able to stand it anymore here. I actually talked to my Rotary about coming home for Christmas, which they didn’t let me do. There are not words to describe the feelings, the loneliness, the longing to go home. I was almost packing my bags. Well the night I found out that I could not come home for Christmas, my friend Morgan came over to sleep at my house. We talked about everything and she is going through some of the same things as me just on a lesser scale of intensity. It helped just to talk with her. There is something comforting about talking with someone who understands you and is going through the same thing. Well it was good and convicting at the same time. She helped me realize how I haven’t really been pursuing what I should be pursuing. I say I am sick of having nothing to do, but I don’t look for things to do. Ya I try one time, and then when it doesn’t work out perfectly, I let it go. I wedge my foot into the door, but when it starts to press on my foot, instead of pushing it open, I pulled my foot out. I start to pursue, until it calls for me get really out of my comfort zone. Its hard to pursue people, opportunities, activities in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language fluently. But that is no excuse and I took the victim attitude. I was waiting for my perfect Brazilian life to fall into my lap. I was wanting to make mud pie without getting my hands dirty. Well after all those realizations and a lot of praying and journaling, I set out to have something to do every day. To make myself get involved, to pursue, to get out of my comfort zone, pick up my but and take the initiative. Cuz if I don’t, I will waste the rest of my time here, and I. Will. Not. Do. That.

Well the rest of my week and weekend was full of activities. Things have been getting so much better. I have actually been really happy and I have had a spirit of joy and excitement for the rest of my time here. It’s amazing because I would not feel like this if it wasn’t for my Best Friend, Comforter, Helper, King, Leader, and Daddy Jesus Christ. I don’t know what I would do without Him. He has given me a spirit o Joy. He IS my strength, He IS my wisdom, He IS my purpose, He IS my joy, He IS my reason, He IS my endurance, He IS my everything. I can honestly say for one of the first times in my life that I truly love my God and Savoir Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of Him. Through the hardest times I have ever had, is the time when I truly learn to Love God. I want to talk about Him, I want others to know Him like I do. I don’t want it to sound like I am bragging, because I wouldn’t love Him, if He never loved me first. I wouldn’t see His value, if He didn’t value me first. I wouldn’t know Him without Him giving me the capability to know Him in the first place. Wow, God is great. He is so good. I know that even through the crappiest times, I can rest and I can thank God that HE has it all on control and that everything works to the good for those who love Him! I know that He has a plan, a purpose, and I can totally rest in that. I will therefore, live my life for Him, because He gave me life and the ability to live it abundantly!

Well that was a lot…and a lot of it was just me rambling, not knowing how to describe everything. To sum it up, it has been a interesting week. One full of despair, conviction, motivation, joy, and thanks giving. One full of a good, loving and consistent God. One full of messing up by trying to do it by my power, and rising again on wings like eagles, through HIS power.

In spite of the questions

These last two weeks have been a little harder for me. It’s a combination of things really. It started mainly around Thanks Giving time. I think one of the hardest things is that back home, this is a season to gather family and friends and have great times over big turkey diners. It’s a season to give thanks and Celebrate the birth of Christ. It’s a season of Festivities, and this year, I am missing all of that. To be sure, I will have parties here with my host family etc, its just not the same. I still doesn’t register in my mind that I am going to have Christmas in 90 degrees weather! The Christmas decorations for sure do not combine with the huge flowers and palm trees…

I also feel that sometimes I am wasting my time away here. I feel like a lazy 10 year old. I don’t always have a lot of things to do and sometimes I just stay at home and play video games and watch TV with my host brothers. While I have had some great times with my host brothers, I also feel like I need to be doing something with my life. I am getting out more for sure, and I actually just started making a list of things to do every day and started studying Chemistry online so that will help. (I felt like I am loosing all my memorization and learning skills! So I need to study something, and I need to get caught up on Chemistry anyways.) The hardest thing is that as I am growing and becoming more mature and experiencing life, I am more restricted and have less responsibility. I feel very tied down here at times. Since I am living with a Brazilian family here, I have to abide by their rules. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why did I put myself into a position with less responsibility and freedom then I have had for the last 2 years?” Don’t get my wrong, I like my host family, a lot, its just hard to be living under thier authority when I want to be living on my own and making my own decisions. As a result of that, I have been thinking how I could be doing so many better things back home. I could be studying and taking Clep-Tests to get ahead for college, I could be working and making money, I could be working with the service group Doulos again, and of course, I could be home. Well, this has for sure been the hardest thing that I have been dealing with since I’ve been here. I have cried more tears over this then anything here. The thing is, I have no doubt in my mind that this is the place God wants me to be. I know He has a purpose for me here, but sometimes I don’t know what that is. Many times, I feel like I don’t belong here. So I ask, “Then why am I here?”. But in spite of all the questions, I know with all my heart that God is good, and that He knows what He is doing. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that everywhere I go will be fun and happy. I refuse to by into the fake, smile plastered Christianity. We worship Him through the easy times and the hard ones. Sometimes God puts us in situations where we feel lonely, where we feel like we don’t belong, where we feel like the only thing in the world is to go back home. And while I don’t always know His purpose in that, I know He has one. “And I know that all works out to the good for those who love Him.” This doesn’t mean that I forget my worries, and everything is happy again. This is tiring, exhausting at times. Things aren’t always happy, and fun, and easy, but at least I know its good. While I don’t know all the answers, I know He does, and I can trust Him. Please pray for continual strength and perseverance.

On a lighter note, I went with my friend Verena and her two host siblings to go ice skating in one of the malls here. When we got there, the ice rink was really small, choppy and covered in slush. And it was really expensive. Verena and I look at each other and said, we can do this back home for free on glass smooth ice…haha it was funny. But we had a good time just talking as her two siblings went ice skating.

I have also been spending a lot more time with Morgan here. I would ask for you to continue to pray for her. We have been reading through the book of John together. She is so close to accepting Jesus Christ, it makes me so excited! She is such a wonderful friend too.

Well this weekend I am going to a Sitio (small farm type place) with my host family and Verena. They have horses and we are going to go horse back riding! I am SOO excited for that! It will be so great! I am excited to just get away from the city and everything here and get into the country and just have some good family time there.

Oh, last week end I got to go to church two times! I went on Sat night with my friend Alberto (a Brazilian that I met in Winter Park last year. He lives here in the same city I am living in. He was working at Devil’s Thumb Ranch last year). So that was really great. And then I went Sunday morning to another church on my own. They were both very different, but I like them a lot. It was exciting because at the Sat night service, I could understand almost everything the preacher was saying! I am for sure going back there. I really enjoyed it.

Well, that’s about it. Thanks for reading, and please leave comments ☺ I love reading what you guys write. Until next time,

-Hope

More than just Turkey

Last Friday night I finally went to Church! It was a youth group type thing. I went by myself, took a buss and walked in not knowing what the expect. I thought to myself before I arrived, “no matter what it is like, I am the one who needs to pursue the people there. I cannot and will not take on the victim attitude.” When I arrived, the youth pastor and his wife greeted me and I talked with them for a while. They were so great, very friendly and introduced me to the people there. During the sermon, I could understand the gist of what he was saying, but could not understand it all. That was a little discouraging just because it again reminded me that I am not fluent, and I still have a ways to go. Well, afterwards a bunch of the girls came up to me and started talked with me. One girl, named Jessica, was an exchange student last year to Germany and we talked for a while. Everyone said my Portuguese was great and they were all astounded that I could hold conversations. So that was encouraging about the language. After, the pastor and his wife brought me home and invited me to come more and join in on other things too. I am going to start going to church there on Sunday mornings (at least as many as I can go to). Well that night as I got home, I was thinking about all that happened. I thought, “Ya, I’m not fluent in Portuguese, but I am doing well, and I will be fluent at some point, and I cannot let it get me down or let it drive me into the victim attitude. I need to get out and start pursuing opportunities. I am at the level with Portuguese that I can start pursuing, I can get out and do things on my own. I feel like so much time is wasted throughout the week, I want to make the best of my time here.” I thank you all so much for your prayers about Church for me. It truly is a blessing, and I already feel like a part of that church even with just one visit. God is truly good.

Well as you all probably know, Thanks Giving was last Thursday. It was my first Thanks Giving ever without my family and friends. Well, I got to skype with my family back home which was great. It did honestly make me a little more homesick, and I did really just want to be there right then. That night as I lay in bed journaling before I went to sleep, God laid it on my heart to just start writing down things that I am thankful for. I thought, “I need to be doing what the name of the Holiday actually says to do.” So many time I know that I and so many Americans forget what Thanks Giving is all about. Yes it is a time for good time with family and friends, but even without that, we can celebrate by giving thanks to God who has blessed us with so much! I see how we stray from the true meaning of this Holiday when I see things like “Happy Turkey Day!” writen all over facebook. I mean really, since when in Thanks Giving about turkey? Well, as I was writing the things I am thankful for, I was overwhelmed with how much God has blessed me. He has given me the most amazing family and friends ever, He has given me an opportunity of a life time to live in Brasil for a year, He has given me life and health, and love, and most of all His Son Jesus Christ. He has raised me from death in my sin and given me a new life, and the ability to live that life abundantly. He has given all of this to me for no cost at all. I owe my life, my everything to my God, my Savoir, my Friend, my Comforter, my Strength, my King, my Prince, my Everything.

What are you thankful for? Just think about it…

I think the days got shorter....or maybe some are missing...

Well its been a while since I’ve written. I am getting more lazy week by week with writing in my blog… I feel like there has been so much that has gone on, but I don’t know how to put it in words, none the less words that people actually want to read. So here goes my attempt.

I am liking my host family a lot. Especially my two brothers. There is Lukas, who is 12, and Marcelo, who is 14. They are pretty down to earth and just really fun. I have a big connection with them. We played video games for hours the other day, they are teaching my how to play ping-pong (and I really am getting better!), and we had a huge water fight and all ended up soaking wet. I have laughed so hard with my bros! It has been great. My host mom is also really great. Her name is Patricia and she is very sweet. I already feel comfortable with asking her anything if I need something. I like my host dad Robson, although he is the only one in the family I don’t have a connection with. The only thing that is hard in this family is that they are much more strict then my other host family. This has been a really hard thing for me living here in Brasil. Even with my other family too. I was at a stage in life back home where I just wanted to live my own life and make my own decisions. I had so much more freedom the last year or two back in CO. Many times I wonder, “Why did I put myself under the authority of a family again?” I understand that my family here is responsible for me, and that Belo Horizonte is a big and can be very dangerous city. So they are not being unreasonable with their rules, its just that I don’t like them. It has been hard, but it also has been a good lesson to continue to humble myself and be ok with what my host parents say even if it is not what I want. God continuously has His ways of keeping me humble and selfless.

Friday November 21st was my last day of school at Frei Orlando. Yes, I am now in summer break! Right before I left, I was sitting with Jessica and she started crying and wrote me a really sweet note. Yes, I am going to miss not seeing them at school every day, but I reassured her that we will hang out. This is not the end of a friendship, we may not see each other as much, but that doesn’t make me love her any less. I never realized how much of an impact I had made on her life until she gave me that note, it really was a blessing for me. But I know that it was not what I did. Because there were so, so, so, many times where I messed up and where I was not a good example and where I did not shine for Christ. It was God that touched her through me, and I can give HIM all the praise and glory for that. Thank you Lord for using me as a vessel, even though I am completely messed up, to bless others with YOUR love and grace.

Well about Church, I was going to go last Saturday night, but there ended up having a wedding so they didn’t have church. And Sunday I went to Feira Hippie (this huge fair/market place. Its amazing. There are TONS and TONS of people…) in the morning with my host mom and brother. But this Friday night I am going to the Presbyterian church for the Youth worship night. So I’m pretty excited about that!

Today is my 120th day in Brasil! I cannot believe I have been here for 4 month already…I am almost half way through my year already. I will be here for about 6 months longer. Wow how fast the time has gone…November especially went really really fast. It feels like yesterday that it was the beginning of November. I think there are days missing...I just seems like its going so fast I cannot believe it. It makes me excited and so scared at the same time. I want to use my time here for the best, and sometimes I feel like I've wasted a lot of it. And that scares me. I know its not entirely true. While yes, there has been a lot of wasted time, there has also been a lot of time put to good use. I just pray that I would be able to use the time God has given me for His glory. I would appreciate prayers in that area. Thanks :-)

Well, that’s all for now folks, until next time

-Hope

House Swap

Well last night I moved houses. My old family actually threw a little surprise party for me which was really sweet. And when I left Iza started crying when I hugged her. I'm going to miss her. Well I'm at my new house now, and I don't know what to think yet. I am filled with a mixture of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, sadness, missing my old house and family (and my bed, this one is kinda hard and my back is hurting because of it...but my host parents are going to switch it, so its ok).

Well I've been learning that I am a person that needs change in life. Its hard for me to stay in one place for a long time. But at the same time, I was just getting used to everything back in my old house. And now I'm starting new again. I think it will be easier here, in a way, because I can communicate through Portuguese now. But its still hard. I especially miss Iza and my "Brother" Lorran (one of my best friends from school that lives two blocks from my old house). I am going to miss being able to just walk over to his house and watch a movie with a group of people from school. Well, I would appreciate prayer as I enter this new family, and this new side of the city.

I will write a little more later, but for now, this is all I have time for. Thank you all for your prayers it means so much to me.

-Hope

almost 100 days

Today is my 98th day in Brazil.

Its crazy to think that I have spent one third of my time here already! It is exciting, sad, scary, all sorts of things. I can see so much progress in the these first months, but I also see how much father I have to go. I am about the change host families which is also very exciting, but at the same time not. I like my family here a lot. They are so great. I know how they work, I know the area around here, and what busses to take. Its like I’m going to start all over again at my next house. The neighborhood that I am in now is called Caiçara and is a ways away from my next host home in the neighborhood Sion. However, Sion is very close to the center of the city, which is where everyone meets and goes out. Down Town here is great. It’s a lot richer and safer, much more clean and has tons of places to go to with friends. That is where all the shopping is, where the huge Sports Club called Minas Tênis Clube is, really where all the cool places are. It is also a lot closer to some good churches! This is great because I hopefully can start worshiping with a church that I know is truly sound and based on the Word. The only hard thing is that I am living with Brasilian Family. I am like a part of their family while I live with them. So at times we go traveling on the weekends or are doing things that I am involved in and so I cannot be as involved in church as I want. But I am hoping with my next family I will have lots of time for Church. I will try to make it clear that it is a very important thing for me. From what I know of them so far, I think it will all be ok.

Well, I have been learning more and more about the cultural differences between Brazilians and Americans. Brazilians are known for their welcoming, always friendly and happy personalities. However, I have seen how this results in very clingy and more selfish centered friendships. For example, when people here have a friend that has a opportunity to move to another country, or go to a better school, instead of being happy for them, they get depressed and wonder why that friend would be so horrible to leave them like alone. I cannot say this for all Brazilians but I have seen in a bit during my time here. For example, right now I am going to a local highschool, it is very boring and honestly a big waste of time for me. I am only now starting to understand the teachers and even then, I don’t have any of the books, I don’t take the tests. I spend lots of time just sitting or sometimes sleeping. I have been reading some and writing some but I can only do that for so much time before I get bored. I love my friends at school, and that’s one of the only profitable things there for me. Well, I have been talking with Rotary about changing schools, about trying to maybe do culinary school or go to university and actually study something that interests me. Just recently I was accepted to a University here to study some courses in Nutrition and Culinary Arts. I am very excited about this opportunity for next year! (here the school year goes from end of Feb to end of Nov. so I will be starting at the beginning of the school year). Well I told me friend at my highschool about it and instead of being happy that I have this opportunity she said how sad she was and that she thought my host mom wanted to ruin our relationship etc. Its something I don’t understand. I will still spent time with her, its not like I am leaving for ever. Ya, I won’t see her in school and that is sad, I will miss that, but she didn’t need to tell me that I should stay in highschool and not embrace this great opportunity because she is very sad about it. These are the small things that make it hard for me to understand this culture and its people.
Well I had another experience at a Brazilian party. It made me never want to go to one again. It was a costume party. I dressed up like a doll with a big dress and pig tails. When I got there I felt quite out of place with the skin tight witch outfits and revealing cat costumes. There were a good 700-800 people there. Everyone was drinking and smoking. The music was blasting. I think I danced for 10 minutes and then left to go sit when the “Funky” came on. (It is repulsive music in my opinion. And it comes along with repulsive dancing). My shoes stuck to the floor because of all the spilled alcohol on it. I had beer down my arm and some vodka drink in my skirt. Me and my friend Verena were the only two people not drinking and some of the only ones not smoking. People were making out and more. I had some good times actually talking with people, although I got asked several times by guys if I had a boyfriend and if they could kiss me. I never got to scared the whole time. I know how to put a guy in his place. But all the guys wanted Verena because she is a tall beautiful blue-eyed short light colored hair German girl. She is a little more timid and doesn’t know how to just say no and walk away from a guy, so the whole time I was rescuing her from drunk Brazilians trying to hit on her. It was an interesting experience, but at least I now feel comfortable with how to handle situations like that. None the less, that was my first and most likely last Brazilian costume party. My type of party is a having 3 friends over, making dinner and watching a movie. A little different then the Brazilian way…

Well on a good note, I have started to become good friends with another exchange student, Morgan, from Alaska. I have had the opportunity to share the gospel with her and talk to her about Christ and how its all about a relationship with Christ not just a list of things to do and not do. She is super open to the Gospel and I think super close to accepting Christ. I would appreciate it if you could keep her in your prayers. Pray that Christ would draw her heart towards Him and that He would give me the words to say to her, because I know it is Him and not me that will draw her into the kingdom.

Please continue to pray that I will be able to find my nitch, the place where I belong in this city. I think it will be easier when I am fluent in Portuguese. I am getting there, but still have a little ways to go. Please pray that I would seize every opportunity to glorify God in my life here and be a light to those around me. Thank you for your prayers, it means so much. God bless,

Ate proximo vez, (until next time)

-Hope

There's no place like home

While times are getting better here, it still doesn’t feel like home. At times I feel like this whole adventure isn’t a section of my life, but rather a stop in my life until I return home. At times I feel like an astronaut, the world keeps turning and the people keep living, but I’m just looking on through a window in outer space. Its not like that always, only sometimes, but its hard to find my life here, where I belong, where I fit in.

The days go so slow, dragging on from one hour to the next, but the months pass by so fast like the cold days here in Brasil. I have already met my knew host family and I am going to change in a couple weeks now. Wow, come the 26th of October, I will have been here for three months! To think I only have 7 or 8 more is just ridiculous! I think back to what I have gotten accomplished here. I have learned so much, but I want to start getting into action more! I want to get really involved in a church, but I need to find one that I can trust. This is something for sure to be praying for. I want to get involved in some kind of ministry. All of the opportunities I have had are on days that are not available for me. I think the best thing is to get connected with a church and then help with some ministries within that church. That is probably my biggest prayer request right now. I think if I can do this, I can truly start finding my place in this huge city, in this strange country.

I have been learning a lot about Brazilian culture, Brazilian people, and Brazilian salaries. The people here are so very friendly and always have a good face on. They are very hospitable with their friends and to guests. They never leave you outside the group. But on the other extreme, there really is no sense of service when it comes to jobs. You have to push and push to get anyone to help you. Its really interesting to see the great extremes between different parts of life. Lots of times I feel a big fakeness about it all. Its easy to make friends here in Brazil, but its hard to get to know people for who they really are. People would love to have thousands of friends and go out to clubs and dance all night, but when it comes to truly knowing the heart of something, Brazilians for the most part are very blocked off. I have made two good friends here, and still I don’t know how well I really know them. Another thing about Brazilians is that there is a huge gap between the rich and the poor, and the rich like to make sure everyone knows they are rich. Its so sad because there are a few with tons of money that keep it all for themselves. Then there are the many many poor people. The gap is like the Grand Canyon. Securing the rich with a sense of comfort on one side and dooming the poor with hopelessness on the other. I want to help. It is all so different here then in America. All the families that have any money have both parents working full time jobs. My host mom has three jobs and works all the time! My host dad is gone every other week traveling and when he is home is works every day all day long. Minimum wage is something ridiculously small. I made more money in one week working at Wild Horse Gourmet, then the maid does at my house in one month who cleans and cooks every single week day from 6:30 am until sometimes 9 or 10 pm. Yes she lives in this house for free and she gets a month of vacation, but it still is such a small amount. Its truly humbling.

Well, this post is a little shorter. I will post again soon, I am going to a big party this weekend, so I am sure I will have lots to say about that. Well it will give you something to look forward too. Until then my friends,

-Hope

So its been a while....

I feel like I have a lot to say, but at the same time, not much at all. Its been almost 2 weeks since I’ve posted….sorry about that…

Here is a highlight from these last two weeks:

October 4th at 11 pm, I squirmed out of the car as best I could with my 4 inch heals and long formal dress. I don’t quite understand how some women can exit and enter cars with such grace and elegance while wearing such constricting dresses and ankle braking heals… It truly is an art, one that I will never be fluent in…I entered the building with my friend who was the only person I knew there. The music was blasting, all sorts of lights were blinking and flashing colors all around the room. The birthday girl (she was turning 15) was standing at the entrance with her parents greeting all the guests. There were tables with huge flower arrangements, the cake the size of a wedding cake, two TVs playing music videos and disco balls that splattered light all across the room. There was a table of candy, free drinks, people serving finger food of all sorts to the guests. First we were all just talking and hanging out together. It is hard enough for me to understand Portuguese, but in a building with blasting music, the difficulty is multiplied… The birthday girl had three different dresses throughout the evening. One for greeting people, one for the waltz with her father and the other 15 men, which consisted of family and close friends, and one for, well, one for after all that stuff…There was a film of photos from her childhood and then another film which they repeatedly played throughout the night of this girl doing a photo shoot. It was, in fact, quite repealing. Right before the waltz, everyone gathered around to watch this film where the girl flaunted her skinny body off to the whole world. The worst part about it was afterwards, her father was clapping and almost crying in admiration of his daughter. “Wow, how great, this girls father is encouraging his daughter to continue to believe that life is all about looks. And that how we appear in this world and to those around us is what will determine our worth in life”, I thought to myself. After that, everyone got up and starting dancing. And I mean everyone…the parents at this party were no different then the kids. Drinking and dancing. I had fun lots of the time during this dancing part, although for some songs I just left and went to the bathroom cuz I had no desire to dance in the way that those people were dancing. I thought I was going to have to pull out my slapping move sometime that evening. (For those of you who don’t know, If any boy tries to kiss me, I will certainly slap them). There were multiple people that asked me, “Hope, porque voce nao fica com um homen?” (Hope, why don’t you fica with any guys here?”. They have this expression, “Fica” that means to kiss a guy do what ever you want with him for that one night and then never see them again after that. People continuously pushed me, “Why don’t you kiss some guys”, “I have a friend that wants to kiss you, I will take him to you”, “Come on Hope, its just one night and its fun!”. I just said the whole time, “No! I don’t want to, I’m just not into that kind of stuff, no thanks, I really don’t want to.” After a while they stopped asking me, but man it was ridiculous. This also was a small birthday party and cost about 15,000 reais! (about 7,000 dollars). They have some that get up to 150,000 reais. It is ridiculous how much money these people spend on birthday parties. I will give one note though, the 15 years birthday is one of the most important in a persons life here. Not all parties are like this. This is only for 15 years. It is a special year signifying a child’s coming into adulthood. So this is not a typical birthday party for every age. But that was my first experience at a 15 year old birthday party. It was interesting. If I was to explain it in one sentence, it would go something like this. The party as a mixture between a wedding reception, a high school dance, and a night club.

Well I am getting better at the language. I can now, for the most part, hold a conversation if the person talks a little slower and clearly. My responses aren’t fluent, but I can actually understand things and have conversations. So that is such a blessing! It is interesting though, I can understand almost everything in a conversation, but when listening to someone talking in a Rotary meeting, or my classes at school it is still hard to understand much. I think partly because they talk faster and don’t stop so I don’t have time to think about it all to understand it. And its hard to concentrate. I will concentrate really hard for a few minutes and then my mind wanders off onto something else. So I can see that I am progressing, but I still have a ways to go until fluency.

Well I went to a Fevela (slum) this past Sunday with Rotary. It was Children’s Day and so we gathered a ton of Favela children into the school there and played games, made balloon figurines, and gave out candy and presents to them. There were so many kids and most the time it was like a Zoo! But it was great to just get to help with some of those kids.

Well, my main prayer request right now is that I would not forget what I have been learning. As times start to get easier, I don’t want to go back to how things were before. I have learned so much and I want to continue to apply these things to my life. It is a lot easier to do that when I have no other choice but to communicate without words or totally rely on God. But now that I am becoming conversational and getting used to how things work here, I have to choose to continue to communicate through my actions and continue to rely on God for everything. This is much harder.

Thank you so much for your prayers,

-Hope

Cooking or God?

Well, it is October 2nd. Today marks my 66th day in Brasil. Wow, so long, yet so short.

Things here have been pretty good. I have had some really good days where I laughed until I cried and could actually hold a conversation with someone. I feel much more like myself as I get better and better at Portuguese. I still have a ways to go, but I can for sure tell I am getting better. Thank the Lord!

But I still have my days where I just want to go home. I still feel alone here, especially Spiritually. I don’t have Christian fellowship. Ya I have a couple Christian friends. But I don’t have true Christian fellowship. I don’t know how else to describe it than that. I am trying to go to some more churches and youth groups etc. but its still hard to understand because of the language and I have to be so careful with who and what I trust. I don’t know that the church I am going to is teaching Biblically because I cannot understand it all right now. I guess this has to do with everything here really. I cannot trust anything at this moment to be sound, true, stable. Because I have not had time to understand it all. Its draining. I just want something that I know is true that I can trust for sure! I am realizing that the only thing I have is God.

Through this and some other experiences God is starting to show me that He is the only thing that I can always rely on. That He will never fail. Its funny the ways we learn these things. I’ve just recently realized that God is teaching me this while attempting to cook here with Iza. But first I need to give a little background info. For those of you who know me pretty well, you know that I love to cook. Cooking has, for the last few years, been a way that I can de-stress. If I had a bad day at school, I would go home and cook something and listen to some worship music. This always helped me get my thoughts straightened out and calm down. I didn’t only cook when I was stressed however. I also cooked just for the pleasure of cooking. Anyways, today as I was helping Iza cook lunch for everyone. I kept messing up; I kept doing things wrong. The types of food, the way they cook it, the utensils they use, and everything about cooking is just different here. I felt helpless in that kitchen. Well, I came up to me room afterwards, sat on my bed and almost cried. I miss my kitchen so much. I miss the familiarity of it all back in CO. After writing a short email, God revealed to me how He is cutting off all my dependence on these earthly things. Nothing material here is certain. The only thing I can always rely on is God. He is teaching me this slowly but surely, and boy does it hurt. Its like this:
Think of the rivers and ponds all scattered through out the Rocky Mountains. There is always a river flowing into a pond and a river flowing out. This is in order to keep the pond from overflowing or becoming stagnate. My being, my soul, my body is like that pond. The river flowing into it is life; the things I experience here on earth. And the river flowing out of it is what I rely on to keep me from overflowing and growing stagnant. For me, I have a lot of those outlets. Some include cooking, relationships, my own intelligence and knowledge. Those all are pretty big outlets, but my outlet labeled “God” is a trickling flow of water not worthy to be called stream. Well, God is slowly damming up all my other outlets. He has already closed off my reliance on my own intelligence and knowledge by living in a country without knowing the language, customs, bus routs. I cannot yet fully trust in my relationships with people here. I have some good friends, But I don’t know them well enough to take everything they say as the truth. And not I cannot trust my cooking anymore. My pond is filling up and the pressure is tearing apart the earth at the outlet named “God”. It hurts when God suddenly blocks off what keeps us going and slowly tears out what we rely on in order to place it all on Him. I will always struggle with relying full on God. This is a life long battle, a life long lesson. But God is teaching me this in a whole new way right now. Now I do not think that cooking is bad, or trusting in relationships is bad, or that using my knowledge to help me is bad. These are all necessary things! But when I place them in front of my reliance in God, I will always fall.
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2 Chronicles 16:7-9
“At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him: "Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the LORD, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war."
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Isaiah 31:1
“Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help,
who rely on horses,
who trust in the multitude of their chariots
and in the great strength of their horsemen,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel,
or seek help from the LORD.”
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2 Corinthians 1:8-12a
“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers”.

Highs and Lows and In-Betweens

Where to start, this last week has been full of, well, everything!

Last week, I skipped both Monday and Friday school. I slept in a little more and then hung out/cooked/cleaned/ran errands with Iza. It really was great. I love Iza so much. She has this simplicity about her. She is crazy and fun like my friends back home. And she loves to just listen to me talk about CO and show her photos. So I love skipping school and just hanging with her. I love my friends at school, but honestly, school is so boring! Sometimes we have something exciting going on, but for the most part, school for me consists of sitting and sitting and sitting. I don’t have books, I don’t take tests, I don’t do anything there. Not that exciting… Tomorrow I am also going to skip school, but that is because I am going to a Portuguese class in the morning at 8:30 and believe it or not, I cannot be in two places at once. So, tomorrow, I am free!

Well I’ve had my days recently that were just really crappy. Such as the night of Tuesday the 16th. I tried to make peanut butter cookies again, and they just turned out horrible. That set me off, and then I went into a ragging hormonal frenzy of feeling fat and that I was a worthless cook and that it was all because of Brasil and I needed to just go back home. It was irrational, and frankly, very childish. The next morning was the same, but then in the afternoon I felt a lot better. The week of the 15th was for sure up and down.

That is only the beginning of this roller coaster learning process. Saturday night the 20th untill Tuesday the 23rd was a non-stop test and growth period. 9:30 p.m. Iza arrived at home and we set off together to spend the night at her cousin’s house on the other side of the city. We caught a buss, listened to music and talked about cell phones and other random things until we arrived there 45 minutes later. João, one of Iza’s friends met us there to walk with us to the house. It was pretty close, about one km away. When we arrived I saw the reality of many many many Brazilians. We entered a rusty door plastered against the cement wall, walked up the cement stairs and set our things down in a house that was literally the size of my bed room in my house back in CO. The white walls of the house had cracks and I could see some mold there. There was one queen sized bed (that me and Iza and her two friends slept on) and a small crib for the young son (three people lived in this tinny place!). The kitchen consisted of a tinny TV and boom box, a table the size of my dresser, food cabinets the size my bathroom cabinets back home, a faucet made of BPC pipe that sprayed water everywhere when turned on, and a gas stove. The bathroom was separate and shared with the other “apartments” that were there. It was small and had a toilet in the back and a shower head with the heater inside of it on the ceiling above the middle of the bathroom. There was no separate place to take a shower. It was like a shower with toilet inside; everything got drenched. Furthermore, the stench was horrible and the floor was dirty and slimy. The door was a bunch of planks of wood nailed together. It was hard and very sobering to see how people live with so little, and realize how many people live with even less. But that night was one of the best. I learned how to dance a Brazilian dance and laughed until I cried. They were simple people, living with almost nothing material, but they had a lot of love and laughter. Its something I cannot really describe. Its one of those things you just have to experience. I knew about people who lived like that. But it never registered until I spent one night living their lives. I realize how much I take the things I have for granted. God has blessed me with so much! SO MUCH! I cannot even comprehend it and I am overcome with joy with the thought of it.

Well, when we came back home Sunday afternoon I went to church again with my friends. It was interesting. I had a strange feeling about what was going on. There was some “spiritual” music playing and then people just randomly dancing. The dancing didn’t have any meaning, it was just something to look at while listening. And quite honestly, it wasn’t that great either. But the thing that really disturbed me was how loudly the crowed cheered and clapped after each song. I got the sense of this fake praise. It wasn’t a praise for God, it was a praise for the mediocre (at best) dancers. First of all, they were praising the creation, and praising its non-excellence. Two strikes. During that time I became desperately lonely and homesick. I especially missed my church back home. Everything here is so uncertain, it gets a little old after a while. I just wanted something that I knew was right, I knew was sound and good and I could trust. I consciously thought these exact words, “I don’t belong here, I am not suppose to be here.” As I came home very depressed, I decided to check my email one more time before I went to bed. I saw an email from one of my best friends. It was a short note sharing some thoughts on how he thought God was trying to teach me. He shared a Bible verse with me and then said these exact words, “don’t get discouraged, you are right where you are suppose to be. So live life, and live it abundantly! There is nothing that you can not do or overcome!”. It was totally a God thing, cuz that was the one thing I needed to hear at the point in time. I realized how the Devil had gotten a hold in my heart through my homesickness. But I know that God wants me to be here. I know that I am living in His will and I will not believe the lies of the Devil. Well the next day was still hard. I was again desperately homesick all day. After my friend (the Christian one I go to church with) said some things about CO I just got flat out mad and played the victim. I then partly jokingly (but mostyl seriously) fought with her. I said how I hated how they made fun of CO and didn’t appreciate where I came from, how I hated it when she assumed things about my friends and how she doesn’t know them etc. We were yelling at each other in the middle of class and most everyone was looking at us. After my childish outburst, I just covered my heard with my jacket and sat there. A little while later I pulled my chair up to hers and we actually talked about it. As best as we could at least, with my still not great Portuguese. I explained how lonely I felt and I didn’t appreciate some of the things they had done. And how the Devil had been pulling me down. She reminded me that the Devil has no power over my life, and that I am never alone because God is always with me. She said I should never feel alone again because she was always there for me. I appreciate her so much, even though I have been hurt by her the most. However, she can never understand the kind of loneliness that I experience here. Its not a loneliness because of lack of people. I am always surrounded by people. Its different. It’s a loneliness in culture, in mindset, in life. Their lives are here. What they know and have always known is here. Mine isn’t and that will always separate us somewhat. Well, after another very immature and self-centered day, I prayed a lot, slept well and started new on Tuesday. God has given me a great peace and contentment the last two days. I thank Him so much for that. But I know now that even when I am having those times where I am all alone all I want in the whole wide world is just to go home, God is with me in everything, He has blessed me so much, and I can give thanks in those times because I know through them I will fall more and more in love with my God and Savoir, my Father and Friend, my Comforter and Strength, Jesus Christ.

We learn through a lot more then school

Well, I have officially finished one and a half months of school and not learned a thing. Last Friday, my school work consisted of letting all my friends draw things all over my arms. It was quite amusing.

Last weekend I went to my friend Polly’s sitio (a resorty, farmy, getaway place) with a bunch of kids from school! We all piled into an old, really old, VW van Saturday morning and took off. I didn’t think we were going to make it up a couple of the hills that we had to climb. Well, it took about an hour to get to this place. Wow, it was beautiful too! It sat outside the city and had lakes and nature and had many of these sitios inside of it. It is kinda like a combination of a resort and a secured neighborhood. Anyways, when we got there we sat by the pool and soaked in the sun, then jumped into the very cold and refreshing water! We ate lots of food (especially brigadero. Wow that stuff is good. Its like a mixture between caramel and chocolate. I am definitely going to make it for everyone when I get back home!). I went on a run with Lorran while the others walked behind us. It was a great weekend, except for how lonely I felt. The people here are great, but I continue to struggle with not being able to talk. I want to be so much more involved. In the planning, in the leading, in the carrying out, in the knowing of what is happening. I feel sometimes like the little sister dragged along, who doesn’t understand anything, just goes with the flow. Its like I have no voice, no opinion, no say in things. I know that’s not totally true, the people here do try to include me as much as possible, but there still is a gap, and that won’t be closed until I learn the language. However, I can certainly tell that I am getting much better at Portuguese! I can understand so much more and actually hold simple conversations with people.

One exciting point that proves my progress in Portuguese (ah, alliteration!) is that Sunday the 7th I thought my first thought in Portuguese without consciously thinking it was Portuguese (wow that is confusing. Anyways…). It was a very simple three work phrase. I was putting things into my purse and thinking to myself, “Eu preciso isso, Eu não preciso isso…” (I need this, I don’t need this…) But it was my first! And I am proud of it! (now I cannot wait until my first dream in Portuguese!)

Well I’ve had my good days, where I laughed so hard that I cried, and I’ve had my bad days, when the only thing I want to do is go back home. Living here is a great experience and I am so glad I get this opportunity, but there is a lot of struggle as well. I have been hurt a little by how unreceptive some of the people are to my heritage and culture. I have a couple times tried to show them small parts of my culture (such as making peanut butter cookies, which they have never had here….). I didn’t know, until now, how much it would mean to someone living abroad to share some of their home with the people around them. Its like I want to show them as much as I can, but in return they want to change it into something Brazilian. It has been hard, I feel like the people here just expect me to disown my “Americaness” and fully embrace everything Brazilian as my own. I know they are not trying to put down my country or make me feel bad, so I try not to take it personally. But I don’t think anyone here can truly understand how much it means to me to share part of where I come from with them unless they have also been in a place like I am at. Its something that I cannot even explain. I have a certain pride that I want to spread across my friends as well. And they are telling me they don’t like it and giving me something else that they say is better. So this has been hard and I would greatly appreciate prayer that I would be understanding and not take this personally. Because I know they are proud of their country too.


Well I also have my good days! Like yesterday! Yesterday I went with Iza (the maid, she is super cool! I love hanging out with her!) and my sister Livia to Pamphula! It is this beautiful lake that we walked partly around. We stopped to take lots of random pictures too! It was super fun. Then I went with my friends Jessica and her boyfriend Lorran and two of their friends to this place called Minerão. Wow it was so awesome! There are no words to describe what happened there! Well I guess I should tell you what it is first. Minerão is the second largest futebol (soccer) stadium here in Brasil. And boy, do people get excited about their soccer! Its so crazy! There are seats, but they are never used, except for standing on. There are military men with German shepherd dogs surrounding the field. People were either cheering or booing the whole time. It was crazy. Such an experience! I loved it and I cannot wait to go again! The team I was cheering for ended up loosing 0-1. Sad…but it wasn’t that big of a deal to me…I’m not fanatical about it like the rest of the 60,000 people that were there. Haha.

Well this post is kinda scattered with lots of random things. Sorry for the “unflowiness” of it. But I hope you still enjoyed it. Please leave comments I love hearing from you guys! I want to know that people are actually reading this! Thanks so much.

Until next time,

Tchau

-Hope

p.s. I have discovered how much English uses the verb “get” try to count someday how many times you use this verb. Its crazy cuz here they don’t use “get” like we do. Its hard cuz I have to actually use other verbs… haha =)

Ramdom post

Ok! So its almost been 10 days since i've posted! I'm really sorry its taken me this long. But i'm pretty busy and tomorrow i have no time, so monday i will write a full post for everyone to read! thanks!

Communication, more then just words

Birthday parties here are so different then in America. My little host brother, Eduardo, just turned ten. We had a party for him last Saturday. It wasn’t just his friends, rather his friends and their whole families. There was literally at least one person from every present generation at this party. It was so much fun! I love hanging out with the adults because they like to talk to me, and its funny to try and talk with them. The difficulty of talking is multiplied at party however. It is hard to filter out the other noises and other conversations and just focus on one sound wave. But none the less, I had a great time, ate lots of chocolate and fried little appetizer things filled with chicken and cheese! (I forgot what they are called. But if there is a party, those little guys are there). However, I also can sympathize with the introvert a little better now. It is very draining to be at a party around a lot of people and trying to talk with them. My brain hurt and I was dead tired by the end. I am starting to understand the very unfamiliar world of intravertism.

I also experienced a Brasilian thunder storm (more like a hurricane) last weekend. Boy does is storm here! It may not rain very often (At least not during this part of the year) but when it does, it rains hard! The huge drops, which were more like marbles then water drops, cut through the air and drenched everything. The wind swished loose material through the streets and twisted tree branches. The thunder shook buildings and the lightning was blinding! I LOVED IT. Haha it was frightening, but there is something about thunderstorms that I love.

God has also continued to teach me. The phrase “actions speak louder than words” has a whole new meaning to me now. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about communication. What it is, what it entails, how I use it, how I should use it, and so on. Communication, I realized, for humans is like what a race horse is for a jockey, or a sharp knife for a prep cook, or a hammer for a builder. Because of my lack of Portuguese skills, I’ve been struggling with the idea of how to communicate Jesus to those around me without saying anything. Through this process I have come to see how communication is so much more then just words. I have realized that I am not limited because of my lack of speech rather the order of normal communication has been switched for me. Instead of starting with words that lead to actions, I have to start with actions that lead to words. I cannot have the easy way out like I did back home where I knew the language. I see how much I used to say about what the world needs and what we need to do about it. But much of it was merely philosophy that I never put into practice. Well here I have to start at the other side. I have to start with showing them what needs to be done. I have to start living how I say we need to live. This, however, is incredibly hard. And I have fallen many times. I have not been the example that I should have. However, God has reassured me with His words in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”. I know that God works even in my failures and my weakness, but also that He wants me to “be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy.” (Leviticus 19:2). I see that through these things, I can communicated Jesus to the dyeing world around me. While verbal normally comes before behavior, I must walk it now, and talk it later. I understand now how important the “doing” part of communication is. I knew it before, but now I truly am starting to understand. I think it is a big problem within Christianity today. Saying what needs to be done, but doing nothing about it. We can say we have faith in the Lord, but where are the works to show it? Just like is says in James 2
“What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?”
1 John 3:17-18
“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”


What are your actions communicating to the world?

God and Busses

Wanting to love God more is not a bad thing. Quite the opposite, it is a great thing! But when it turns into a selfish desire for fulfillment, is it still so good? For the last year or so, I have continually been pleading God to help me fall more in love with Him. But not much was happening. I couldn't figure it out. I was reading my Bible more and praying more then I used to. I thought, "my heart is open God I want you to fill it more and more! so why isn't anything happening"? Well, only recently did I discover that my longing to love God more was merely a selfish longing to gain personal fulfillment and wholeness. That's why not much was happening. I needed to want to love God for the sake of loving Him more, not for myself. After a very insightful and encouraging email with a great friend, I realized that I needed to be involved in the work that God is doing right here where I am. I was so consumed with my selfish longing of wanting fulfillment that I was blind to what God really wanted me to be involved in. Once again, the Lord is taking my eyes off myself and putting them onto Him. I then changed my prayer from merely, “help me love You more”, to “use me to carry out the work that You are doing in this place.” Soon after, I had the opportunity to share the gospel with one of the girls at my school. While it was hard because she wasn’t very good at English and I at Portuguese, I know that I have planted a seed and I pray that God will bring the growth. This is what I am called to do. To walk in His will by serving in His work. And when I am in His will, He gives unspeakable joy.

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There is always a first time for everything. Living in Brasil gives me LOTS of opportunities to experience a first. Here are a couple:

As I waited at the bus stop my eyes darted back and forth at the busses whizzing by making sure that wasn’t the one I needed to be on. I was ready to stick out my hand to signal the buss that I needed a lift. I saw it, the glorious number, 4201, the bus to take me home. I thrust my hand in the road waving it around to make sure that he saw it! I boarded and handed my R$ 2.10 to the money lady. I sat down and braced myself for the 20 minute ride home. Many people boarded and unloaded, but my eyes were glued to the streets trying to catch a familiar building. One lady who sat next to me tried talking with me, I managed to stammer out, “Eu não fala Portuguese muito, desculpe” (I don’t speak much Portuguese, sorry). The next 4 minutes before she left were awkward as all getout! I know it was only awkward because I made it that way…anyways… I continued to scan the streets and I though I knew where I was every once in a while, but I never really did until right before my stop. I frantically stood up and pulled the string above me to single the driver that I needed to be let off! Stepping off the bus, I sighed in relief and thought to myself, as a first bus ride by myself, that wasn’t to bad.

I finally got to go to church with some people here! Turns out one of my friends at school is a Christian and so I went to her church. It was very great! While I could not understand the message and I only picked out a few words in the worship I was so uplifted just in being with a bunch of Christians. It is definitely a little more charismatic then church back home, but I really enjoyed it. I loved the worship because I could see and hear how the people were truly crying their praises to God. They didn’t care what anyone else thought. It was a true heartfelt praise to their Lord Jesus Christ. There were some different things that went on, however. At one point I think some guy was speaking in tongues and the pastor was translating, but I wasn’t quite sure because it all still sounds like tongues to me mostly…☺


Well God has surely been teaching me a lot. I still get discouraged about the language sometimes, but I know I need to learn patience. Its already getting better. (the language and my patience) but it still is a struggle. Thanks for reading ☺ and please leave a comment if you enjoyed it.

Until next time,

-Hope

Some pictures from school and Tiradentes/São João Del Rei

Sunrise in Belo Horizonte. My school starts at 7 every morning, so I get to watch the sunrise Monday-Friday. It is gorgeous.

A Church in São João Del Rei
The 18th century train we took to Tiradentes
These old VW bugs are EVERYWHERE
Notice the cobblestone streets, old houses, and the church in the bottom right corner
These trees are filled with yellow blossoms and are absolutely gorgeous. I forgot the name of it...
Me, Fernanda, Livio. Classmates
more Classmates!
Most of the group who went to the Historical Cities.
There are a lot of them :-)
The train station
Classmates :-)
Me playing Futebol with the guys (really fun! but they are so much better than me its crazy!)
Love this one! Carina, Polly, Me and Jessica! Some of the coolest girls at school.
Ya! Kelvin, Fernanda, and Livio. some of the other coolest people at school.
haha :-)

From the 18th century to 2008

The wooden planks groaned beneath my light feet as I stepped into the 18th century church. I stopped, then continued as if the smallest sound would shatter the walls around me. I found a bench in the back of the church, sat down and absorbed everything around me. The front of the church gleamed with statues of gold. The ceiling was supported with arches and pillars, and decorated with various colors. Detailed wooden carvings twisted among the walls. Everything gushed excellence. From the alter to the ceiling, from the pillars to the carvings, it all seeped in superiority. I thought to myself, “what would happen if the excellence that propelled those who built this church also propelled the way this world functions?”. God has, with the last year, been convicting me that whatever I do should be done excellently and unto Him. I thought, what if this excellence spread throughout the my generation instead of the low expectations and “myth of adolescence” that is forced upon us today? How would that change families, schools, governments, churches, societies, economies?

Last weekend, I went with my family and another family to 2 Historic towns named São João Del Rei, and Tiradentes. As we drove through the historic streets, saw the small shops selling locally made items, listened to the farm animals of all kinds sound their own unique songs, and tour the majestic churches from the 18th century, I knew that this was the Brasil that I had dreamed about. I loved every minute of our stay there. I walked the ancient cobblestone roads. I saw the colorful houses and aged gates. I gazed at the gold covered churches. There is just something about a small town with so much history that up-heaves a certain longing and excitement within me. Through that time, I also discovered some things about myself.

1. I really enjoy getting up early to watch the sunrise, write in my journal and pray. It is a time without interruption that I have all to myself and God. I got up each day at 6:30 and had some of the best time by myself. This leads to my next point…
2. I also really enjoy being by myself. The people here are great, but every day I need at least some time to spend by myself.
3. Since I haven’t had the opportunity to talk that much, I have discovered how much of what I used to say was about myself, or demanding things for myself. I saw how I did this at work, at school, at church, and especially at home. I want to live for my Savoir, Christ, not for myself. And I see now one way in which I love myself more than I love the One that I owe my life to. And Christ is changing that.
4. Lastly, I am striving to live my life with excellence, not merely mediocrity. I pray that God would lay this on the hearts of His people around the globe like the black plague covered Europe. Could this excellence change the world?

____________________________________________________________________

It is been almost a month now that I have been here in Brasil. It has been getting harder, because its no longer a vacation. It’s a place where I have to live and interact with the people here. And that can be very frustrating because I cannot speak Portuguese. Many say I am learning fast, and true I do understand more then I used to. But I feel as if I am moving at a snails pace and I won’t know the language until right before I leave. I know it will come, but I don’t like waiting.

I didn’t realize it before, but one of the reasons that I wasn’t liking this very large city of 4 million people that I am living in was because I was (and still am) scared to do anything here. The city is dangerous, all cities are, and everything about it is so vastly different from my town of 2,000 that it makes me terrified. However, I know that God will use this experience of living in the city to stretch me and teach me more then I can imagine. He is helping me have courage in that face of fear. While I would rather be back in Tiradentses, I will stay here, because I know this is where God has called me for this year. I know that once I get better at Portuguese, get familiar with the busses and how to get around, and get to know more people, life will get a lot easier. As for now, I have to be patient (which I hate and God is making my work on that too!)

Thank you so much for all your prayers, it truly is a blessing. Please continue praying that I can get connected into a church very soon. I am craving Christian fellowship.

Tchau

In Christ Alone,

-Hope

What you won't find in the travel books.

1. Don’t flush the toilet if you only pee. Yes it sounds weird, but here, people are very conservative with their water, in more then one way….they also barely ever drink water…so it astounds them when they see my very large water bottle ☺
2. Many people are very focused on outward appearance. Everyone dresses up when they go out (even if that’s just to the super market to get some groceries). The sad part about it is if you don’t look a certain way, people will not respect you as much. However, I have seen in my school, that most everyone is very accepting of everyone else. So there is a little of both sides.
3. The boys here are very VERY forward…If they think your hot (or if you have revealing clothes on, which I see a lot of…) they will yell at you from across the street. Everyone is also very touchy-feely. There is a boy in my class who is a great example. He goes around and put his arm around girls and holds their hands and kisses them on the cheek numerous times. And this is the normal, “just showing you that I’m your friend”, kind of actions. Not all the boys are like this, but most everyone is very touchy. If you talking with someone they will probably put their hand on your leg or shoulder or get very close to your face. Its is very different. They have NO concept of personal space or PDA. Its quite the opposite. They are uncomfortable when no one is touching them.
4. Most of the people can actually dance here! I went to my friends birthday party at a bar (very different then American bars) and we were dancing Samba all night long! Ah it was so much fun. I love the dancing here. It takes actual talent. Its not just a bunch of people grinding on each other.
5. Everyone drives like crazy here! And the streets are steep and narrow and no one stops at stop sings or stays in their lane. Also, you’ll be driving down a two way street at all the sudden it will turn into a one way street. You better be paying attention…

These things, along with many others, are starting to make me feel very out of place here. I love Brasil and I am having a great time, but sometimes it is hard because everything is so different. (and I cannot speak Portuguese….and it seams like I never will…). I still haven’t found a church to be a part of, and I am craving that so bad right now. I could definitely use prayer in that area and also in just being to learn Portuguese fast. It’s a very hard language and also it is frustrating because not know the language limits me a lot with what I can do here.

Tchau

-Hope

A few pictures

This is the view from the porch at my house

Me looking out over the city from the porch

View of the while city from the mountain overlooking Belo Horizonte

Raquel (sister), Camilla (friend), Angela (mom), Eduardo (brother), Paula (friend), Livia (sister)

Raquel, Camilla, Me, and Paula

First Day of School

No more sleeping into 11 anymore... I awake at 6 am sharp to be at school by 7 am. (But I do get off at 12pm!)

Where do I start in describing my Brasilian school....I am in a class of about 30 people all around 16-17 years old. English class consisted of watching a movie in Portuguese and reading the English subtitles (which I think helps me learn Portuguese better then it helps them learn English). In Math class, the I could barely hear the teacher because all the students were talking so much. I also did not get anything that the teacher was teaching (partly because I don't know Portuguese but also partly because I had never seen the type of math she was teaching. The beginning of it looked familiar, but as she wrote more numbers and things it did not make any sense....I think it is a different way to do things that I have already learned. I looked farther into the book and saw stuff like Sigma and those things that I have already done...)

Well they have this class called F.H.C. and the only thing that happened was the teacher wrote some stuff on the board and just let all the students talk and do whatever in the class room. She even sat with some students and just talked with them... Haha, its so crazy.

Not all of my classes are so crazy! In many classes, the students and not talking so much and they are taking notes. But some are just crazy.

But, my class mates are very nice! At the end of the very first class one girl came up and grabbed my hand and said "I will show you around" and she introduced me to people and took me around the whole school. They just make me feel very welcome. haha there would always be a group of people gathered around me trying to speak to me. My dictionary would get passes around to people who were trying to talk to me. They asked me what type of music I like and if I had a boyfriend. Haha, they seamed like the normal highschool crowd. They're pretty funny :-)

All in all, I really enjoy school! The girl that showed me around the school (I forgot her name....they are all so hard to pronounce...everything in Portuguese is hard to pronounce...ah its just a hard language over all....) already invited me to her birthday party at the bar (pub) this weekend! Ah I love the people in Brasil, they are SO nice :-)

I had mango today at breakfast. It was SOOO good! haha now that vacation is over and "reality has set in" my family eats a lot more fruits and vegetables. (Which I love!!!!)

I also am hoping to play on the futebol (soccer) team there! Everyone got so excited when I said I played soccer....haha...

Well, thats it for now, I will post more later :-)

Tchau!!! (chow / bye)

The first few days.

Well, this is my first post in Brasil. I cannot believe I am here

I will start off with the crazy story of my travels.

I arrived in Dallas about 12:00 and the first flight to Sao Paulo did not leave until 5:30. I sat around, bought some lunch, and called some friends. (For those of you who do not know, my dad is a Pilot for American Airlines. So, I flew stand-by on the way down here. that mean I only get on if there is a seat. Oh and it does not cost much to fly business class, so that’s what I resisted for, and business class was the only place that had seats.) So, there were about 3 seats open (which may seam like plenty, but you never know what is going to happen to all the seats....) I was waiting very patiently for them to call me name and give me a seat. I saw that I was first on the stand-by list so if anyone got on, it would be me. well as time went on I went to the desk to see if there was any more room. She said it was full so I went to the bathroom. Well when I got out apparently there was one more seat, and they called the last person (besides me) that was on the stand-by list. I was very sad and confused that I did not get on. So I went up to make sure I was rolled over to the next flight. I got there and talked to the lady and turns out they had called my name 4 times and I did not hear it so they let the other guy on. Well that made me cry because I knew I was not going to make my 8:30 flight our of Sao Paulo the next morning. Then God reminded me that there is a purpose for everything. I prayed a little and journaled a little and calmed down.

So I did get on the 7:45 flight, after waiting in line for 1 hour and after having a guy tell me that I would not get on. Well I did and I was in business class. :-) I talked to the lady besides me for a couple minutes and ordered my diner. By this time it was about 8:30 (the flight was delayed) and they stayed grounded for another hour because they were trying to get the bags off the airplane of the people that the bought off the airplane (since it was overbooked). So I stared watching a movie, and one of the flight attendants came up to me and asked if I could move to another seat. He said that this man was very aggravated and upset that his light was not working. Since a light is not that important to me I willingly moved, however I did not realize that I was moving to coach where there were about 75 screaming middleschoolers. I had such a bad attitude and just wanted to cry. (By the way, as the guy walked past me to my business class seat, his faced beamed with a selfish smile). Well I was saying to myself I would be ok with anything God except this! Then I realized, you know I am going to be in Brasil in 10 hours to have an opportunity of a life time. What am I complaining about. I cannot sit here and pout that some guy took my seat. I would be just as selfish as he was. So I lightened up a little and ended up having a fantastic conversation with a guy on the airplane sitting next to me. We talked about what he believes and he was a very nice guy. I asked his a lot of questions (he even said, wow you ask hard questions...hhaa :-) and got to share a little of what I believe. I pray that God planted a seed of truth in him through me. It was a great conversation. Then I knew, God, you really do have a purpose for everything.

Well I got to Sao Paulo and got through immigration very easily. I went to look for my bag, but it was nowhere to be found. They lost it. ya....well the good thing was they took me to a special room where they X-rayed my carry on baggage and I get through customs in about 20 seconds (yaya! no waiting in long lines). So I went to go call my host family and the numbers did not work. I was getting a little frustrated so I decided to just go check in. I went to the Tam booth and after talking with a lady for a while she said I had to go outside and to the left and put my name on a list to see if I could get on the 12:10 flight to Belo ( I was flying Stand-by on TAM to Belo Horizonte as well) Well I could not find it. I was so discouraged. But as I walked through the airport I had my Rotary Blazer on (a blue blazer that every rotary students gets and is very recognizable) Two teenagers came up to me and asked if I was an exchange student. Well turns out they were from Brasil and had just gotten back today from their exchange years in Germany. So they helped me call my host family and sign in for the flight. They were also great company to talk to. God really blessed me in that way. I don't know what I would have done without them.

I got on the 12:10 flight to Belo Horizonte. And right outside, was my host family there to greet me. I had a great first day just meeting everyone and seeing some places. (they drive like maniacs here). Well I was very tired so I took a nap for about 5 hours....That night was so beautiful. The apartment I am in is on the eighth floor of a building and on the porch you can see the city stretching in every direction. I took some pictures from there of the city lights. I loved it. then went to bed again and slept for another 12 hours. I really needed it.

Tuesday morning, the day after I arrived, me, Livia and Raquel ( my host sisters) and Camilla and Paula (two friends) walked around the streets a little. There are so many little stores all over the place. I love it! they have a store for bread and a store for paper and a store for cosmetics etc. all lining the street.

Well, we eat ALOT of bread and ALOT of cheese. haha I am not used to it. But it is good. I have had a lot of new things. One thing that I love is called Requeijao. It is like a very creamy cream cheese and I put it on everything :-). Also, they are so surprised that I drink so much water. And that’s all I drink. haha they always drink Coke or juice or something and only drink water.

Wednesday Angela ( my host mom) Raquel and Livia ( my host sisters) and Camilla and Paula and their mom all took me to a park on the top of the mountain overlooking Belo. It was so beautiful! I got to see the whole city from the top. After that we went to Camilla's house and I met their English teacher. He was great. then we just hung out and played games and watched soap operas (which I could not understand at all). It was so much fun. Every time I hang out with Livia and Camilla and Raquel and Paula I have such a great time! They help me with my Portuguese. Also Livia is constantly translating for me...haha...which is nice, but also not, since I want to learn Portuguese. But it is good for now. When I get better I will not need her to as much. That night Allison, my host dad, came home from a trip. He brought me some beautiful coconut earrings! He is so fun too!

Thursday the 31st we got a lot accomplished. I went to the Federal Police to get registered. After many times of going to another part of the building and coming back we finally finished it all. It took a while. I also got a chip for my cell phone and went to a historical museum of Belo Horizonte. It was very fun, but I was very tired.

So, some interesting facts about Belo. At almost every stop light there will be people coming out to sell you stuff while you are sitting at the red light. It is so crazy! haha I even saw a guy do all this juggling to get money.

The streets are very steep (very very very steep) and the people disregard stop signs and speed limits. Also, the police don't care much.

Lastly, they have very small trash cans.....I don't know why....

Well, there is so much more I could say, but I will go for now and next time I will not write quite so much....haha

Boa Dia e Tchau!

-Hope
(ah also, almost all their words here end with vowels. so they always pronounce my name Hopey. With a very pronounced E on the end :-) (I will upload pictures soon)