So I just finished my first week of college! I am going to Pitagoras, a private college here in Belo Horizonte, studying nutrition for one semester before I come home. I won’t get credit for the classes I am taking here, my grades won’t count, but I am really liking just learning! I am taking Anatomy, Physiology, Composition of food, and Technical Dietetics. Physiology is hard. Its really difficult to understand because I haven’t had much chemistry or other foundational classes yet. But Anatomy is great! It is so interesting and I understand almost everything! My teachers are great too. So far at least. I have two classes per day so I get out of school at 11:10 every day. I get up at 6:30 every day grab a buss at 7:15ish to start school at 7:30.
Well this last weekend was probably one of the best weekends that I have had here so far! I went to my first host family’s house with three of the my exchange student friends Verena (Germany), Sophie (France), and Gracia (Mexico) to make a big lunch of authentic food from our home countries. We arrived there Friday evening and just hung out with everyone. We stayed up really late, of course, talking about all sorts of things. After a short night of sleep, Saturday morning I woke up at 8 am to make pancakes for everyone for breakfast! As I was cooking away, people started to wake up and drowsily make their way to the kitchen. They started making fruit salad and setting the table. 9 am, we all sat down to eat. Everyone loved the pancakes! Right afterwards we all jumped into Angela’s (my first host mom) car to run to the local super market. We had a big list of all the foods we needed to buy. We took pictures and videos while we searched and found almost everything we were looking for (chocolate chips don’t exist here…neither do tortilla chips…lame sauce…). When we got back home we didn’t stop cooking until 2 pm. It was such a great time. Everyone was cooking a specialty food from their country, talking, and having tons of fun while taking random pictures and videos of everyone. We all laughed so much! Verena and Sophie set a beautiful table with flowers and folded napkins. And then the final product! Burritos, refried beans, and guacamole (really spicy guacomole…which apparently wasn’t spicy at all for our Mexican… :-D ) from Gracia, Quiche Lorraine from Sophie, tomatoes stuffed with German black bread and cream cheese sauce from Verena, and backed potatoes and chocolate chip cookies from me (not to mention the pancakes from the morning). We sat down to a FEAST! The food was incredible! It was an amazing time to experience a little part of home but at the same time learn and taste the cultures of the other exchange students! Not to mention that it was with some of my best friends!
That night I went to church with my friend Alberto! It was truly amazing. Just worshiping with other Christians and talking and hanging out with them was an amazing experience. I have been feeling very exhausted, worn out, and unmotivated in life, and my spiritual life. Just the worship was so uplifting. I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t realize until then how much I had missed church, worship, Christian fellowship. Afterwards I met a bunch of people and talked with them for a while. Everyone was saying how great my Portuguese was and it was a great encouragement. I guess you could say I am fluent at this point. I understand almost everything and can speak fairly well. It’s not like I speak like a Brazilian, but I am dreaming in Portuguese, thinking in Portuguese, understanding at least the main idea of everything that I listen too, and am able to hold normal conversations. Well after church I hung out with a group of the people from church and they were so great! They are so friendly and asked for my number so we can do more things together. Next Wednesday I am going to Alberto’s cell group. I am really excited. God really brought this to me at the perfect time. I am going to try to start going to church every Saturday, at least all that I can, and also to cell group, and whatever other thing that is going on with the people at church! It is just refreshing to be around like minded people! Praise the Lord! He is so good! :-D
-Hope
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
North East Trip January 2009
Wow. I don’t even know where to start. The last month has been so full of so much!!! I left January 5th with 40 other exchange students from all over the world to travel by buss up the beautiful north east coast of Brasil. It was amazing. I could write a book telling about all the places we went to, all the things we did and all the places we saw. But I don’t want to bore you with lots of random details.
We started our trip with a 8 hour bus ride to Rio de Janeiro. Our time there consisted of visiting “O Cristo Redentor”, the statue of Crist over looking the city; “Pão de Açúcar”, a mountain that looks like a loaf of bread; “Praia Copacabana”, the most famous beach in Rio; and more. Rio is a very beautiful city geographically but it is also full of slums and poverty. We took a tour through a Favela (slum) called the Rocinha. It is the largest Favela in Brasil. It contains over 150,000 people. A couple days later we watched a movie showing the drug violence in the Favelas in Rio de Janeiro. It is really scary and sad at the same time. As we entered the Rocinha we had to open our windows of the tour bus. Later I found out that we did that people the drug traffickers are looking at every person, every car that enters to Favela. To enter with shut windows can be very dangerous. The drug traffickers have to make sure you aren’t the police entering. Yes, there is police in the Favelas, but they do nothing. There are many different levels of police in Brasil. This kind has the lowest salary from the government so they make deals with the drug dealers not do anything to them if the traffickers will pay the police. Its really a sad and corrupt place. This tour and movie that we watched really made an impression on many people. Its hard to see the how hard, violent, and dangerous the reality of so many people in Brasil is.
After Rio we cruised our way up the coast visiting some of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen in my life! We went to one beach the I especially loved. It was located close to a city called Itacaré. Our hotel was outside the city and situated literally on the beach. There were a couple small houses next to us and that was it. The beach was almost empty, with flat glistening sands, and clean water. At night time the water reseeded a good 50 feet. The moon shimmered on the glass like sand and softly rolling waves. A cool wind skidded over the water and swept through the palm trees. It was the most beautiful beach I have ever seen or experienced. We would stay out on the beach until 1 or 2 am. Most of the students would all hang out together playing truth or dare or something like that. I liked to just go off on my own walk down the beach and use that time to pray or sing. It was a great time just to spend with God. It had been really hard during the trip to get some good time with God. This was actually one of the hardest parts of the trip for me. At times I felt very alone, very secluded. I had no Christian fellowship, I was surrounded by tons of worldliness all the time. I felt very alone and very pulled down many times. On top of that I barely had any time to spend in the Word or to journal. It was an exhausting time. But those couple nights on that beach really was a blessing. I could walk and talk out loud to God. I used to do that back home when I sat in the hot tub but here in Brasil, I barely have the opportunity to do that. I love talking to God out loud, like He was a person walking on the beach next to me. I poured out my struggles, my hurts, my weaknesses, my gratefulness, my awe. It was an amazing time.
As time went on, I started to feel a little less and less secluded. There was always a point of loneliness I felt because of the spiritual barrier, but I started to become better friends with lots of the girls there and even had a great conversation about Jesus with one girl who believes a lot of the same things that I believe. We became really close over the this trip and I am so excited to be able to hang out with her more and have more conversations with her!
Well when we arrived in Recife, I had the opportunity to visit a little girl named Jenyffer Vitoria. She is 6 years old and lives in a Favela in Recife. She is my compassion sponsor child. I have sponsored her since this last summer and was so excited when I heard our trip was passing through the city that she lives in! It was a very short visit, but an amazing one too. Around 7 pm 3 people from the Compassion Project picked me and Tiago (one of the group leaders) up to go to meet Vitoria at her house. In the car they showed me pictures of the project and told me all about it. It is based in a Baptist church where they help out over 270 children. Three times a week these children meet at the church to play games, learn how to read, get Biblical training, participate in theater and music, receive two full meals, and so much more! It really is an amazing project. I arrived at Vitoria’s house and her whole family was there. Her house was for sure small, but it wasn’t as bad as many of the other people who live in that community. Vitoria has asthma so she was coughing a lot and not feeling that great, but she was so sweet! She was very shy and nervous I could tell. I only got to stay for about 45 minutes but those short minutes that a world of difference. It was so amazing. She is so real to me now. Vitoria used to be a picture on a piece of paper. But now she is a little girl, someone who I actually know and who is so precious and who is gaining so much through this amazing organization Compassion. It even made a huge impact in Tiago, he was very impressed with the whole thing.
All in all, it was an amazing trip. Yes, there were some hard lonely times, but I came out of it with some great friends. I’ve been learning, through my time in Brasil and especially this trip, that Christianity isn’t as black and white as it seams. Being in situations like this has forced me to consider and ask question about what I really believe. When I was surrounded by Christians all the time the answers seamed obvious. But through this experience, I have been brought back to basic questions of the faith. I have to know what I believe and why I believe it. I have been growing a lot, but also coming out of it with more and more questions. Yes there are some black and white parts to Christianity, but it certainly isn’t all that way. Christianity is hard when put into practice in the real world. I will continue to do my best to search the scriptures for answers and seek counsel from trustworthy people, but I also will rest in the fact that I am human and will never understand everything. It’s a good thing He is God and not me…
Please continue to pray for strength and wisdom and that I would grow deeper and deeper in love with God as these last 4 months go by. Yes I have been here for 6 months already! I cannot believe it…I think I will be here for about 4 more. I would also appreciate prayer as I am entering University Monday the 9th. I have no idea what to expect yet, I will find out classes and everything on Thursday. Thanks for your prayers and please leave a comment,
:-)
-Hope
We started our trip with a 8 hour bus ride to Rio de Janeiro. Our time there consisted of visiting “O Cristo Redentor”, the statue of Crist over looking the city; “Pão de Açúcar”, a mountain that looks like a loaf of bread; “Praia Copacabana”, the most famous beach in Rio; and more. Rio is a very beautiful city geographically but it is also full of slums and poverty. We took a tour through a Favela (slum) called the Rocinha. It is the largest Favela in Brasil. It contains over 150,000 people. A couple days later we watched a movie showing the drug violence in the Favelas in Rio de Janeiro. It is really scary and sad at the same time. As we entered the Rocinha we had to open our windows of the tour bus. Later I found out that we did that people the drug traffickers are looking at every person, every car that enters to Favela. To enter with shut windows can be very dangerous. The drug traffickers have to make sure you aren’t the police entering. Yes, there is police in the Favelas, but they do nothing. There are many different levels of police in Brasil. This kind has the lowest salary from the government so they make deals with the drug dealers not do anything to them if the traffickers will pay the police. Its really a sad and corrupt place. This tour and movie that we watched really made an impression on many people. Its hard to see the how hard, violent, and dangerous the reality of so many people in Brasil is.
After Rio we cruised our way up the coast visiting some of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen in my life! We went to one beach the I especially loved. It was located close to a city called Itacaré. Our hotel was outside the city and situated literally on the beach. There were a couple small houses next to us and that was it. The beach was almost empty, with flat glistening sands, and clean water. At night time the water reseeded a good 50 feet. The moon shimmered on the glass like sand and softly rolling waves. A cool wind skidded over the water and swept through the palm trees. It was the most beautiful beach I have ever seen or experienced. We would stay out on the beach until 1 or 2 am. Most of the students would all hang out together playing truth or dare or something like that. I liked to just go off on my own walk down the beach and use that time to pray or sing. It was a great time just to spend with God. It had been really hard during the trip to get some good time with God. This was actually one of the hardest parts of the trip for me. At times I felt very alone, very secluded. I had no Christian fellowship, I was surrounded by tons of worldliness all the time. I felt very alone and very pulled down many times. On top of that I barely had any time to spend in the Word or to journal. It was an exhausting time. But those couple nights on that beach really was a blessing. I could walk and talk out loud to God. I used to do that back home when I sat in the hot tub but here in Brasil, I barely have the opportunity to do that. I love talking to God out loud, like He was a person walking on the beach next to me. I poured out my struggles, my hurts, my weaknesses, my gratefulness, my awe. It was an amazing time.
As time went on, I started to feel a little less and less secluded. There was always a point of loneliness I felt because of the spiritual barrier, but I started to become better friends with lots of the girls there and even had a great conversation about Jesus with one girl who believes a lot of the same things that I believe. We became really close over the this trip and I am so excited to be able to hang out with her more and have more conversations with her!
Well when we arrived in Recife, I had the opportunity to visit a little girl named Jenyffer Vitoria. She is 6 years old and lives in a Favela in Recife. She is my compassion sponsor child. I have sponsored her since this last summer and was so excited when I heard our trip was passing through the city that she lives in! It was a very short visit, but an amazing one too. Around 7 pm 3 people from the Compassion Project picked me and Tiago (one of the group leaders) up to go to meet Vitoria at her house. In the car they showed me pictures of the project and told me all about it. It is based in a Baptist church where they help out over 270 children. Three times a week these children meet at the church to play games, learn how to read, get Biblical training, participate in theater and music, receive two full meals, and so much more! It really is an amazing project. I arrived at Vitoria’s house and her whole family was there. Her house was for sure small, but it wasn’t as bad as many of the other people who live in that community. Vitoria has asthma so she was coughing a lot and not feeling that great, but she was so sweet! She was very shy and nervous I could tell. I only got to stay for about 45 minutes but those short minutes that a world of difference. It was so amazing. She is so real to me now. Vitoria used to be a picture on a piece of paper. But now she is a little girl, someone who I actually know and who is so precious and who is gaining so much through this amazing organization Compassion. It even made a huge impact in Tiago, he was very impressed with the whole thing.
All in all, it was an amazing trip. Yes, there were some hard lonely times, but I came out of it with some great friends. I’ve been learning, through my time in Brasil and especially this trip, that Christianity isn’t as black and white as it seams. Being in situations like this has forced me to consider and ask question about what I really believe. When I was surrounded by Christians all the time the answers seamed obvious. But through this experience, I have been brought back to basic questions of the faith. I have to know what I believe and why I believe it. I have been growing a lot, but also coming out of it with more and more questions. Yes there are some black and white parts to Christianity, but it certainly isn’t all that way. Christianity is hard when put into practice in the real world. I will continue to do my best to search the scriptures for answers and seek counsel from trustworthy people, but I also will rest in the fact that I am human and will never understand everything. It’s a good thing He is God and not me…
Please continue to pray for strength and wisdom and that I would grow deeper and deeper in love with God as these last 4 months go by. Yes I have been here for 6 months already! I cannot believe it…I think I will be here for about 4 more. I would also appreciate prayer as I am entering University Monday the 9th. I have no idea what to expect yet, I will find out classes and everything on Thursday. Thanks for your prayers and please leave a comment,
:-)
-Hope
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I will update soon!!!
So my trip up the North East coast of Brasil has been great. I have TONS to write about and barely any time on the internet, so I will write when I return to Belo Horizonte. I have not forgotten about my blog, just haven´t had time to update it. You can expect another post sometime in the beginning of Feb!!! thanks!
-Hope
-Hope
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009
The very first words I spoke in 2009 were in Portuguese. The very first thoughts I thought in 2009 were in Portuguese. The very first dream I dreamt in 2009 was in Portuguese (at least half Portuguese, and the other half English). That may not sound like much to you, but to me it’s something incredible special. Something that I honestly cannot explain. To think of how much I have grown, learned, and experienced in this last year astonishes me! God has taught me so much, He has broken me down at times, but always builds me back stronger. The reason I am who I am today, the reason I have grown so much in this last year, is all because of God. I have been blessed in SO many ways, I cannot get over it. And all I can do is respond with gratefulness to Jesus Christ, my everything.
Well, I spent Christmas here in Brasil. It was different, for sure. I’m not sure if it was to different from America as a whole. It wasn’t quite as commercialized. There were lights, and some music, and commercials etc., but not quite to the extent that we have in America. It was however like America in that it was all just about getting presents. Yes it is about family as well, just in a different way. Sometimes I feel like its more of a fake family time, but maybe its just a cultural difference. Here, family time is having a big party with everyone. Its by getting dressed up, using the right manners and etiquette, always having a smile on. It’s a big thing. Back home we wake up Christmas morning, with bad breath, messed-up hair, PJs, no make-up, and huge smiles showing our gratefulness that we can all just be together hanging out, no matter what we look or smell like. To me, it just seamed less intimate, less like real family. But as I write this, I am starting to see that it may not be that Brazilian families love each other any less, but rather they way they display it is simple different, because of culture. Brasil is about appearance, looking your best all the time while America is about being casual. I am realizing that the way Brazilians live, celebrate, love, and have family time is not necessarily worse, or better, just different. And yes, I may prefer my snow covered, bad-breathed Christmas’s, but that is merely a matter of opinion. I did enjoy Christmas here, and they do have some different traditions, its just not the same as home. One thing that I missed a ton was that there was no aspect of Jesus at all. It was all about presents and Santa Claus. I really miss the Christmas emphasis, the part about Jesus. And really it shouldn’t be a “part” about Him. He is the Reason. I missed that, a lot.
Well, the way they celebrate here is by having a huge family get together on the night of the 24th; opening presents, hanging out, playing games etc. Then at 12:00 am that night, they have a huge dinner as a passing into Christmas. It is very different, because here people celebrate mainly on the 24th at night instead of the 25th. For my family we went to my host mom’s side of the family for the 24th. Everyone was there: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We celebrated well into the night and came back home around 3 am. The next day, the 25th, we had a huge “lunch” at my house for my host dad’s side of the family. This “lunch” lasted from about 2 pm until 10 pm. It was good, but a little long and I was for sure missing home. Thankfully, I was able to skype in with my family as they had Christmas back home! That was great. Ya it was a hard time, I did miss home a ton, but I also enjoyed my time here. The hardest for me was one night after Christmas when everyone was over at my house in CO. The Sealys, the Newells, the Jones, the Mathews, the Goulds, and of course my whole family and the fiancés of my two oldest siblings were there! Tons of my very best friends were there, people who I miss so much and wanted to see so bad! And they were having a waltz/swing dancing night. Probably one of my most favorite things to do! I got to skype in and talk with people and watch for a long time, and that was great, but at the same time hard. Because it was evident, very evident that I was not there. After I hung up I laid in my bed, totally alone, and cried a little. After a few minutes I thought to myself, ‘you know what, I am here in Brasil. And I cannot change that right now. I cannot be home tonight. I cannot change my circumstances, but I most certainly can change my attitude. I can most certainly look on the bright side and just be thankful for the ability to see them and to talk to them at all!’ God really gave me a peace and a gratefulness that was such a blessing to me. The next day, I was surprised with a box from my family! My mom had put a bunch of little gifts inside. My brother Judd and his fiancé Nicole also wrote me the best cards in the world! It put such a big smile on my face and really gave me a great start of the day. It was truly a blessing and a “God thing” that it arrived the day after Christmas. I really needed that.
New Years, on the other hand, was probably the best New Years that I have ever had! I went to a big sports club called Minas Tenis Clube. My friend Morgan came with me and my whole host mom’s side of the family. We arrived pretty early, about 8 pm, so that we could get a table. It was pretty slow at first. We just walked around looking for things to do. There wasn’t much going on and not many people had gotten there yet. Well, around 10ish a band started playing some music. To my surprise and extreme excitement, they were playing swing music and all the best oldies! Morgan and I ran to the dance floor screaming and broke out the best swing dancing moves that we knew. We danced until almost mid-night to groovy swing music, slick songs from “Greece”, and electric 90’s dance songs. It was so incredibly fun! Right before mid-night we ran back to the table where everyone was waiting for the countdown. Soon after we got back to the table, the thousands of people present roared the loudest countdown I have ever heard! Seis, cinco, quatro, tres, dois, um, FELIZ ANO NOVO!!!!!!!!!! It was amazing. That’s when Morgan said, (in Portuguese) “Hope, do you realize that the first words we said in 2009 were in Portuguese!?” Wow what an amazing end to an amazing year. A year full of struggle, growth, hurt, love, and most importantly a really, really great God!
Well, I spent Christmas here in Brasil. It was different, for sure. I’m not sure if it was to different from America as a whole. It wasn’t quite as commercialized. There were lights, and some music, and commercials etc., but not quite to the extent that we have in America. It was however like America in that it was all just about getting presents. Yes it is about family as well, just in a different way. Sometimes I feel like its more of a fake family time, but maybe its just a cultural difference. Here, family time is having a big party with everyone. Its by getting dressed up, using the right manners and etiquette, always having a smile on. It’s a big thing. Back home we wake up Christmas morning, with bad breath, messed-up hair, PJs, no make-up, and huge smiles showing our gratefulness that we can all just be together hanging out, no matter what we look or smell like. To me, it just seamed less intimate, less like real family. But as I write this, I am starting to see that it may not be that Brazilian families love each other any less, but rather they way they display it is simple different, because of culture. Brasil is about appearance, looking your best all the time while America is about being casual. I am realizing that the way Brazilians live, celebrate, love, and have family time is not necessarily worse, or better, just different. And yes, I may prefer my snow covered, bad-breathed Christmas’s, but that is merely a matter of opinion. I did enjoy Christmas here, and they do have some different traditions, its just not the same as home. One thing that I missed a ton was that there was no aspect of Jesus at all. It was all about presents and Santa Claus. I really miss the Christmas emphasis, the part about Jesus. And really it shouldn’t be a “part” about Him. He is the Reason. I missed that, a lot.
Well, the way they celebrate here is by having a huge family get together on the night of the 24th; opening presents, hanging out, playing games etc. Then at 12:00 am that night, they have a huge dinner as a passing into Christmas. It is very different, because here people celebrate mainly on the 24th at night instead of the 25th. For my family we went to my host mom’s side of the family for the 24th. Everyone was there: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We celebrated well into the night and came back home around 3 am. The next day, the 25th, we had a huge “lunch” at my house for my host dad’s side of the family. This “lunch” lasted from about 2 pm until 10 pm. It was good, but a little long and I was for sure missing home. Thankfully, I was able to skype in with my family as they had Christmas back home! That was great. Ya it was a hard time, I did miss home a ton, but I also enjoyed my time here. The hardest for me was one night after Christmas when everyone was over at my house in CO. The Sealys, the Newells, the Jones, the Mathews, the Goulds, and of course my whole family and the fiancés of my two oldest siblings were there! Tons of my very best friends were there, people who I miss so much and wanted to see so bad! And they were having a waltz/swing dancing night. Probably one of my most favorite things to do! I got to skype in and talk with people and watch for a long time, and that was great, but at the same time hard. Because it was evident, very evident that I was not there. After I hung up I laid in my bed, totally alone, and cried a little. After a few minutes I thought to myself, ‘you know what, I am here in Brasil. And I cannot change that right now. I cannot be home tonight. I cannot change my circumstances, but I most certainly can change my attitude. I can most certainly look on the bright side and just be thankful for the ability to see them and to talk to them at all!’ God really gave me a peace and a gratefulness that was such a blessing to me. The next day, I was surprised with a box from my family! My mom had put a bunch of little gifts inside. My brother Judd and his fiancé Nicole also wrote me the best cards in the world! It put such a big smile on my face and really gave me a great start of the day. It was truly a blessing and a “God thing” that it arrived the day after Christmas. I really needed that.
New Years, on the other hand, was probably the best New Years that I have ever had! I went to a big sports club called Minas Tenis Clube. My friend Morgan came with me and my whole host mom’s side of the family. We arrived pretty early, about 8 pm, so that we could get a table. It was pretty slow at first. We just walked around looking for things to do. There wasn’t much going on and not many people had gotten there yet. Well, around 10ish a band started playing some music. To my surprise and extreme excitement, they were playing swing music and all the best oldies! Morgan and I ran to the dance floor screaming and broke out the best swing dancing moves that we knew. We danced until almost mid-night to groovy swing music, slick songs from “Greece”, and electric 90’s dance songs. It was so incredibly fun! Right before mid-night we ran back to the table where everyone was waiting for the countdown. Soon after we got back to the table, the thousands of people present roared the loudest countdown I have ever heard! Seis, cinco, quatro, tres, dois, um, FELIZ ANO NOVO!!!!!!!!!! It was amazing. That’s when Morgan said, (in Portuguese) “Hope, do you realize that the first words we said in 2009 were in Portuguese!?” Wow what an amazing end to an amazing year. A year full of struggle, growth, hurt, love, and most importantly a really, really great God!
Monday, December 22, 2008
What can happen within a week...
3 days until Christmas, and it still hasn’t hit me…I know in my mind that it is almost Christmas, but it for sure doesn’t feel like it in my heart. I have noticed that there is just something different about Christmas here. It just isn’t the same. They have Christmas trees, but they are all plastic. They have some lights, but nothing compared to what we have back home. They have some decorations in the malls. There are lights covering the palm trees and huge plastic presents, and Santas, and candy canes brightening up the main square in the city. But there is just something different about it. I have been sitting here for the last 15 minutes typing and deleting, because there is no way to describe it really. Its so different. Back home it’s a time for family, friends, resting, and celebrating Christ’s birth! That includes sleeping in and waking up to fresh snow, going skiing or snowshoeing with your friends, coming home to the smell of simmering cranby/apple cider, eating dinner with the family and playing a card game together afterwards. It’s a time to relax, celebrate, rejuvenate, and commemorate. Here in the city, everything just keeps going like normal. Ya, on Christmas eve and day, everyone gets together with family and celebrates. And then normal life starts when your foot steps out the door from Christmas dinner. I don’t really know yet, (since it hasn’t happened yet…) but thats what it seams like it will be. Christmas here is more of a hassle than a time to relax. Everyone is stressed with buying gifts and putting on that outside appearance of joy. It just seams somewhat fake to me. I guess we have that exact same thing in America. Its not Christmas in the USA that I miss, cus that is pretty similar to what we have here, I miss Christmas at my Home, at 1016 Mulligan St. Fraser, CO 80442. I miss the smell, the snow, the family, the food, the cold, the emphasis on Jesus Christ, and just everything about Christmas. How I wish I could be home…
Wow that all sounds like a bunch of random thoughts piled into a heap of letters. All I know is that I wish I could be home for this Christmas season. But as my wise and sometimes very convicting brother Luke told me, ‘Hope, you are in Brasil, look for the good things, and don’t dwell on all the bad’. Its true, its very true. So that’s what I am going to try to do, Thanks Luke.
Well other then that this last week and a half has been filled with some of the very best and very worst days that I have had so far here in Brasil. It started out with going to a small farm out in the country, horse back riding, swimming at night, breathing fresh air, and eating mango picked from a tree in the back yard. It was one of the best weekends ever, and then I came back to the city. There was already an uneasy feeling in my host family due to a huge fight the night before between my host dad and brother (which I still don’t understand what really happened…) and then I just got so fed up with the city. I was trying to listen to some music and couldn’t hear it because of the loud honking outside my window. I slammed it shut and just got so mad! Well throughout the next two days I got ridiculously discouraged with everything. I haven’t had much to do and I felt like I was wasting my life. Like I was a 12 year old again without responsibility, without being able to make my own choices, just sitting at home playing video games and watching TV. I was wasting my time and I got so fed up! I couldn’t live like that any more. I need purpose, meaning, responsibility in life. That lead to thinking about how I could actually be productive back home by getting a job, studying for clep-tests, helping with Doulos etc. (I wrote about that in my last blog) This has been an on-going thing, but this last Sunday-Tuesday is when it all built up and exploded. I was sick of Brasil, of the city, of the language, of life, of who I was, of what I was getting accomplished. I was sick of feeling alone, and like I don’t belong. Those few days I cried, and I cried a lot. I talked with my parents and was ready to pack my bags to go home. I thought, prayed, and cried so much. I was honestly thinking of how to pack my bags to go home. I don’t know how to explain it. How I felt here. All I know is that my whole being, everything inside of me wanted to go home. I didn’t think I was going to be able to stand it anymore here. I actually talked to my Rotary about coming home for Christmas, which they didn’t let me do. There are not words to describe the feelings, the loneliness, the longing to go home. I was almost packing my bags. Well the night I found out that I could not come home for Christmas, my friend Morgan came over to sleep at my house. We talked about everything and she is going through some of the same things as me just on a lesser scale of intensity. It helped just to talk with her. There is something comforting about talking with someone who understands you and is going through the same thing. Well it was good and convicting at the same time. She helped me realize how I haven’t really been pursuing what I should be pursuing. I say I am sick of having nothing to do, but I don’t look for things to do. Ya I try one time, and then when it doesn’t work out perfectly, I let it go. I wedge my foot into the door, but when it starts to press on my foot, instead of pushing it open, I pulled my foot out. I start to pursue, until it calls for me get really out of my comfort zone. Its hard to pursue people, opportunities, activities in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language fluently. But that is no excuse and I took the victim attitude. I was waiting for my perfect Brazilian life to fall into my lap. I was wanting to make mud pie without getting my hands dirty. Well after all those realizations and a lot of praying and journaling, I set out to have something to do every day. To make myself get involved, to pursue, to get out of my comfort zone, pick up my but and take the initiative. Cuz if I don’t, I will waste the rest of my time here, and I. Will. Not. Do. That.
Well the rest of my week and weekend was full of activities. Things have been getting so much better. I have actually been really happy and I have had a spirit of joy and excitement for the rest of my time here. It’s amazing because I would not feel like this if it wasn’t for my Best Friend, Comforter, Helper, King, Leader, and Daddy Jesus Christ. I don’t know what I would do without Him. He has given me a spirit o Joy. He IS my strength, He IS my wisdom, He IS my purpose, He IS my joy, He IS my reason, He IS my endurance, He IS my everything. I can honestly say for one of the first times in my life that I truly love my God and Savoir Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of Him. Through the hardest times I have ever had, is the time when I truly learn to Love God. I want to talk about Him, I want others to know Him like I do. I don’t want it to sound like I am bragging, because I wouldn’t love Him, if He never loved me first. I wouldn’t see His value, if He didn’t value me first. I wouldn’t know Him without Him giving me the capability to know Him in the first place. Wow, God is great. He is so good. I know that even through the crappiest times, I can rest and I can thank God that HE has it all on control and that everything works to the good for those who love Him! I know that He has a plan, a purpose, and I can totally rest in that. I will therefore, live my life for Him, because He gave me life and the ability to live it abundantly!
Well that was a lot…and a lot of it was just me rambling, not knowing how to describe everything. To sum it up, it has been a interesting week. One full of despair, conviction, motivation, joy, and thanks giving. One full of a good, loving and consistent God. One full of messing up by trying to do it by my power, and rising again on wings like eagles, through HIS power.
Wow that all sounds like a bunch of random thoughts piled into a heap of letters. All I know is that I wish I could be home for this Christmas season. But as my wise and sometimes very convicting brother Luke told me, ‘Hope, you are in Brasil, look for the good things, and don’t dwell on all the bad’. Its true, its very true. So that’s what I am going to try to do, Thanks Luke.
Well other then that this last week and a half has been filled with some of the very best and very worst days that I have had so far here in Brasil. It started out with going to a small farm out in the country, horse back riding, swimming at night, breathing fresh air, and eating mango picked from a tree in the back yard. It was one of the best weekends ever, and then I came back to the city. There was already an uneasy feeling in my host family due to a huge fight the night before between my host dad and brother (which I still don’t understand what really happened…) and then I just got so fed up with the city. I was trying to listen to some music and couldn’t hear it because of the loud honking outside my window. I slammed it shut and just got so mad! Well throughout the next two days I got ridiculously discouraged with everything. I haven’t had much to do and I felt like I was wasting my life. Like I was a 12 year old again without responsibility, without being able to make my own choices, just sitting at home playing video games and watching TV. I was wasting my time and I got so fed up! I couldn’t live like that any more. I need purpose, meaning, responsibility in life. That lead to thinking about how I could actually be productive back home by getting a job, studying for clep-tests, helping with Doulos etc. (I wrote about that in my last blog) This has been an on-going thing, but this last Sunday-Tuesday is when it all built up and exploded. I was sick of Brasil, of the city, of the language, of life, of who I was, of what I was getting accomplished. I was sick of feeling alone, and like I don’t belong. Those few days I cried, and I cried a lot. I talked with my parents and was ready to pack my bags to go home. I thought, prayed, and cried so much. I was honestly thinking of how to pack my bags to go home. I don’t know how to explain it. How I felt here. All I know is that my whole being, everything inside of me wanted to go home. I didn’t think I was going to be able to stand it anymore here. I actually talked to my Rotary about coming home for Christmas, which they didn’t let me do. There are not words to describe the feelings, the loneliness, the longing to go home. I was almost packing my bags. Well the night I found out that I could not come home for Christmas, my friend Morgan came over to sleep at my house. We talked about everything and she is going through some of the same things as me just on a lesser scale of intensity. It helped just to talk with her. There is something comforting about talking with someone who understands you and is going through the same thing. Well it was good and convicting at the same time. She helped me realize how I haven’t really been pursuing what I should be pursuing. I say I am sick of having nothing to do, but I don’t look for things to do. Ya I try one time, and then when it doesn’t work out perfectly, I let it go. I wedge my foot into the door, but when it starts to press on my foot, instead of pushing it open, I pulled my foot out. I start to pursue, until it calls for me get really out of my comfort zone. Its hard to pursue people, opportunities, activities in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language fluently. But that is no excuse and I took the victim attitude. I was waiting for my perfect Brazilian life to fall into my lap. I was wanting to make mud pie without getting my hands dirty. Well after all those realizations and a lot of praying and journaling, I set out to have something to do every day. To make myself get involved, to pursue, to get out of my comfort zone, pick up my but and take the initiative. Cuz if I don’t, I will waste the rest of my time here, and I. Will. Not. Do. That.
Well the rest of my week and weekend was full of activities. Things have been getting so much better. I have actually been really happy and I have had a spirit of joy and excitement for the rest of my time here. It’s amazing because I would not feel like this if it wasn’t for my Best Friend, Comforter, Helper, King, Leader, and Daddy Jesus Christ. I don’t know what I would do without Him. He has given me a spirit o Joy. He IS my strength, He IS my wisdom, He IS my purpose, He IS my joy, He IS my reason, He IS my endurance, He IS my everything. I can honestly say for one of the first times in my life that I truly love my God and Savoir Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of Him. Through the hardest times I have ever had, is the time when I truly learn to Love God. I want to talk about Him, I want others to know Him like I do. I don’t want it to sound like I am bragging, because I wouldn’t love Him, if He never loved me first. I wouldn’t see His value, if He didn’t value me first. I wouldn’t know Him without Him giving me the capability to know Him in the first place. Wow, God is great. He is so good. I know that even through the crappiest times, I can rest and I can thank God that HE has it all on control and that everything works to the good for those who love Him! I know that He has a plan, a purpose, and I can totally rest in that. I will therefore, live my life for Him, because He gave me life and the ability to live it abundantly!
Well that was a lot…and a lot of it was just me rambling, not knowing how to describe everything. To sum it up, it has been a interesting week. One full of despair, conviction, motivation, joy, and thanks giving. One full of a good, loving and consistent God. One full of messing up by trying to do it by my power, and rising again on wings like eagles, through HIS power.
Friday, December 12, 2008
In spite of the questions
These last two weeks have been a little harder for me. It’s a combination of things really. It started mainly around Thanks Giving time. I think one of the hardest things is that back home, this is a season to gather family and friends and have great times over big turkey diners. It’s a season to give thanks and Celebrate the birth of Christ. It’s a season of Festivities, and this year, I am missing all of that. To be sure, I will have parties here with my host family etc, its just not the same. I still doesn’t register in my mind that I am going to have Christmas in 90 degrees weather! The Christmas decorations for sure do not combine with the huge flowers and palm trees…
I also feel that sometimes I am wasting my time away here. I feel like a lazy 10 year old. I don’t always have a lot of things to do and sometimes I just stay at home and play video games and watch TV with my host brothers. While I have had some great times with my host brothers, I also feel like I need to be doing something with my life. I am getting out more for sure, and I actually just started making a list of things to do every day and started studying Chemistry online so that will help. (I felt like I am loosing all my memorization and learning skills! So I need to study something, and I need to get caught up on Chemistry anyways.) The hardest thing is that as I am growing and becoming more mature and experiencing life, I am more restricted and have less responsibility. I feel very tied down here at times. Since I am living with a Brazilian family here, I have to abide by their rules. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why did I put myself into a position with less responsibility and freedom then I have had for the last 2 years?” Don’t get my wrong, I like my host family, a lot, its just hard to be living under thier authority when I want to be living on my own and making my own decisions. As a result of that, I have been thinking how I could be doing so many better things back home. I could be studying and taking Clep-Tests to get ahead for college, I could be working and making money, I could be working with the service group Doulos again, and of course, I could be home. Well, this has for sure been the hardest thing that I have been dealing with since I’ve been here. I have cried more tears over this then anything here. The thing is, I have no doubt in my mind that this is the place God wants me to be. I know He has a purpose for me here, but sometimes I don’t know what that is. Many times, I feel like I don’t belong here. So I ask, “Then why am I here?”. But in spite of all the questions, I know with all my heart that God is good, and that He knows what He is doing. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that everywhere I go will be fun and happy. I refuse to by into the fake, smile plastered Christianity. We worship Him through the easy times and the hard ones. Sometimes God puts us in situations where we feel lonely, where we feel like we don’t belong, where we feel like the only thing in the world is to go back home. And while I don’t always know His purpose in that, I know He has one. “And I know that all works out to the good for those who love Him.” This doesn’t mean that I forget my worries, and everything is happy again. This is tiring, exhausting at times. Things aren’t always happy, and fun, and easy, but at least I know its good. While I don’t know all the answers, I know He does, and I can trust Him. Please pray for continual strength and perseverance.
On a lighter note, I went with my friend Verena and her two host siblings to go ice skating in one of the malls here. When we got there, the ice rink was really small, choppy and covered in slush. And it was really expensive. Verena and I look at each other and said, we can do this back home for free on glass smooth ice…haha it was funny. But we had a good time just talking as her two siblings went ice skating.
I have also been spending a lot more time with Morgan here. I would ask for you to continue to pray for her. We have been reading through the book of John together. She is so close to accepting Jesus Christ, it makes me so excited! She is such a wonderful friend too.
Well this weekend I am going to a Sitio (small farm type place) with my host family and Verena. They have horses and we are going to go horse back riding! I am SOO excited for that! It will be so great! I am excited to just get away from the city and everything here and get into the country and just have some good family time there.
Oh, last week end I got to go to church two times! I went on Sat night with my friend Alberto (a Brazilian that I met in Winter Park last year. He lives here in the same city I am living in. He was working at Devil’s Thumb Ranch last year). So that was really great. And then I went Sunday morning to another church on my own. They were both very different, but I like them a lot. It was exciting because at the Sat night service, I could understand almost everything the preacher was saying! I am for sure going back there. I really enjoyed it.
Well, that’s about it. Thanks for reading, and please leave comments ☺ I love reading what you guys write. Until next time,
-Hope
I also feel that sometimes I am wasting my time away here. I feel like a lazy 10 year old. I don’t always have a lot of things to do and sometimes I just stay at home and play video games and watch TV with my host brothers. While I have had some great times with my host brothers, I also feel like I need to be doing something with my life. I am getting out more for sure, and I actually just started making a list of things to do every day and started studying Chemistry online so that will help. (I felt like I am loosing all my memorization and learning skills! So I need to study something, and I need to get caught up on Chemistry anyways.) The hardest thing is that as I am growing and becoming more mature and experiencing life, I am more restricted and have less responsibility. I feel very tied down here at times. Since I am living with a Brazilian family here, I have to abide by their rules. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why did I put myself into a position with less responsibility and freedom then I have had for the last 2 years?” Don’t get my wrong, I like my host family, a lot, its just hard to be living under thier authority when I want to be living on my own and making my own decisions. As a result of that, I have been thinking how I could be doing so many better things back home. I could be studying and taking Clep-Tests to get ahead for college, I could be working and making money, I could be working with the service group Doulos again, and of course, I could be home. Well, this has for sure been the hardest thing that I have been dealing with since I’ve been here. I have cried more tears over this then anything here. The thing is, I have no doubt in my mind that this is the place God wants me to be. I know He has a purpose for me here, but sometimes I don’t know what that is. Many times, I feel like I don’t belong here. So I ask, “Then why am I here?”. But in spite of all the questions, I know with all my heart that God is good, and that He knows what He is doing. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that everywhere I go will be fun and happy. I refuse to by into the fake, smile plastered Christianity. We worship Him through the easy times and the hard ones. Sometimes God puts us in situations where we feel lonely, where we feel like we don’t belong, where we feel like the only thing in the world is to go back home. And while I don’t always know His purpose in that, I know He has one. “And I know that all works out to the good for those who love Him.” This doesn’t mean that I forget my worries, and everything is happy again. This is tiring, exhausting at times. Things aren’t always happy, and fun, and easy, but at least I know its good. While I don’t know all the answers, I know He does, and I can trust Him. Please pray for continual strength and perseverance.
On a lighter note, I went with my friend Verena and her two host siblings to go ice skating in one of the malls here. When we got there, the ice rink was really small, choppy and covered in slush. And it was really expensive. Verena and I look at each other and said, we can do this back home for free on glass smooth ice…haha it was funny. But we had a good time just talking as her two siblings went ice skating.
I have also been spending a lot more time with Morgan here. I would ask for you to continue to pray for her. We have been reading through the book of John together. She is so close to accepting Jesus Christ, it makes me so excited! She is such a wonderful friend too.
Well this weekend I am going to a Sitio (small farm type place) with my host family and Verena. They have horses and we are going to go horse back riding! I am SOO excited for that! It will be so great! I am excited to just get away from the city and everything here and get into the country and just have some good family time there.
Oh, last week end I got to go to church two times! I went on Sat night with my friend Alberto (a Brazilian that I met in Winter Park last year. He lives here in the same city I am living in. He was working at Devil’s Thumb Ranch last year). So that was really great. And then I went Sunday morning to another church on my own. They were both very different, but I like them a lot. It was exciting because at the Sat night service, I could understand almost everything the preacher was saying! I am for sure going back there. I really enjoyed it.
Well, that’s about it. Thanks for reading, and please leave comments ☺ I love reading what you guys write. Until next time,
-Hope
Monday, December 1, 2008
More than just Turkey
Last Friday night I finally went to Church! It was a youth group type thing. I went by myself, took a buss and walked in not knowing what the expect. I thought to myself before I arrived, “no matter what it is like, I am the one who needs to pursue the people there. I cannot and will not take on the victim attitude.” When I arrived, the youth pastor and his wife greeted me and I talked with them for a while. They were so great, very friendly and introduced me to the people there. During the sermon, I could understand the gist of what he was saying, but could not understand it all. That was a little discouraging just because it again reminded me that I am not fluent, and I still have a ways to go. Well, afterwards a bunch of the girls came up to me and started talked with me. One girl, named Jessica, was an exchange student last year to Germany and we talked for a while. Everyone said my Portuguese was great and they were all astounded that I could hold conversations. So that was encouraging about the language. After, the pastor and his wife brought me home and invited me to come more and join in on other things too. I am going to start going to church there on Sunday mornings (at least as many as I can go to). Well that night as I got home, I was thinking about all that happened. I thought, “Ya, I’m not fluent in Portuguese, but I am doing well, and I will be fluent at some point, and I cannot let it get me down or let it drive me into the victim attitude. I need to get out and start pursuing opportunities. I am at the level with Portuguese that I can start pursuing, I can get out and do things on my own. I feel like so much time is wasted throughout the week, I want to make the best of my time here.” I thank you all so much for your prayers about Church for me. It truly is a blessing, and I already feel like a part of that church even with just one visit. God is truly good.
Well as you all probably know, Thanks Giving was last Thursday. It was my first Thanks Giving ever without my family and friends. Well, I got to skype with my family back home which was great. It did honestly make me a little more homesick, and I did really just want to be there right then. That night as I lay in bed journaling before I went to sleep, God laid it on my heart to just start writing down things that I am thankful for. I thought, “I need to be doing what the name of the Holiday actually says to do.” So many time I know that I and so many Americans forget what Thanks Giving is all about. Yes it is a time for good time with family and friends, but even without that, we can celebrate by giving thanks to God who has blessed us with so much! I see how we stray from the true meaning of this Holiday when I see things like “Happy Turkey Day!” writen all over facebook. I mean really, since when in Thanks Giving about turkey? Well, as I was writing the things I am thankful for, I was overwhelmed with how much God has blessed me. He has given me the most amazing family and friends ever, He has given me an opportunity of a life time to live in Brasil for a year, He has given me life and health, and love, and most of all His Son Jesus Christ. He has raised me from death in my sin and given me a new life, and the ability to live that life abundantly. He has given all of this to me for no cost at all. I owe my life, my everything to my God, my Savoir, my Friend, my Comforter, my Strength, my King, my Prince, my Everything.
What are you thankful for? Just think about it…
Well as you all probably know, Thanks Giving was last Thursday. It was my first Thanks Giving ever without my family and friends. Well, I got to skype with my family back home which was great. It did honestly make me a little more homesick, and I did really just want to be there right then. That night as I lay in bed journaling before I went to sleep, God laid it on my heart to just start writing down things that I am thankful for. I thought, “I need to be doing what the name of the Holiday actually says to do.” So many time I know that I and so many Americans forget what Thanks Giving is all about. Yes it is a time for good time with family and friends, but even without that, we can celebrate by giving thanks to God who has blessed us with so much! I see how we stray from the true meaning of this Holiday when I see things like “Happy Turkey Day!” writen all over facebook. I mean really, since when in Thanks Giving about turkey? Well, as I was writing the things I am thankful for, I was overwhelmed with how much God has blessed me. He has given me the most amazing family and friends ever, He has given me an opportunity of a life time to live in Brasil for a year, He has given me life and health, and love, and most of all His Son Jesus Christ. He has raised me from death in my sin and given me a new life, and the ability to live that life abundantly. He has given all of this to me for no cost at all. I owe my life, my everything to my God, my Savoir, my Friend, my Comforter, my Strength, my King, my Prince, my Everything.
What are you thankful for? Just think about it…
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